Letter #1

Hello, my love.

 

I pray that everything is going well for you, but if not, read this letter carefully.

I hope that you are sleeping well.

Sleep, though it may seem boring, is really one of the most vividly beautiful ways that we speak to ourselves.

I wrote a little poem about dreams when I was about  fifteen years old. It said:

 

"Dreams they come, and dreams they go.

Like a constant tide, with a changing flow.

They whisk you away, to another life,

Whether nightmare-ish lands, or paradise.

Some so sweet, to be seeing.

And with a child-like faith, they give you something to believe in.

Such a chaotic peace, alive only in a dreamer's dreams"

 

I won't wish you sweet dreams.

Because sometimes it is the nightmares which are the best ones of all.

I will, however, wish you magical, interesting ones.

Ones of mighty dragons and woodland elves,

Of tall pine forests with lavender mist floating around the trees,

That you would run with a pack of silver wolves in the night,

And tumble with black bear cubs.

I wish you dreams of old castles and kings.

Where you are the princess locked away in a tower,

And you climb down and save yourself.

That you chased down by great knights on horses,

And though you are terrified, you are free.

I pray for you, my little one,

That you will never lose your sense of wild imagination,

That you will let it run as free as the wind on the open sea.

I pray you dance in the night with creatures of your mind,

Forged in the depths of your soul.

I long for you, though I know that it will come,

That you never have to feel truly alone.

That your heart will never be broken,

And that you always feel wanted.

I hope that you see that good will always find a way to win.

And no matter how impossible the situation, God will always save you.

I pray for you, my sweet love,

That you will learn fully the virtues of patience and of forgiveness.

These are the two which I struggle with most.

Because sometimes you will have to wait for what I know seems like forever.

And that a lot of times, you will wait for someone, and pray for them for years on end,

But it doesn’t seem to help, it feels as if your prayers will never be answered, and they will never turn around.

And if you are anything like me, this is when you begin to feel angry.

You will feel like God turned His back on you, and that you are alone.

Alone with a broken heart and years of empty prayers as your only thing to show for it.

But let me tell you this, darling, and if there is only one thing you remember in life, remember this:

You are loved. You are needed. You are wanted. You are not alone. God will always fight for you.

If someone had told me these things, it would have made a world of difference for me.

Just know that sometimes, you have to wait on God, sometimes instead of 'yes', He says, 'not yet'.

I know this answer is always hard, but just know that His timing is always best.

If your prayers and tears seem to be going to an empty ear, He is still there. He is still holding your heart and hand,

Whether you feel it or not. If you reach out, He'll be there, waiting for you.

 

I must go now, my love.

Remember the words I said to you, because that truth will always be needed.

All my love