A young girl passing by a town, shes outside a bar by the beach... met a guy. But somethings wrong. She wants to embrace everything while she can in California, but the truth is, shes lost.
I stood there, tired but happy... stood there as the winds requested my dress dance. The Californian waves whisped around, like a child... learning to ride a bike. Or like a kite... reluctantly obeying the currents.
I still stood there
Stood frozen as you placed your hand around my waist... whispering dreams into my ear. The stained blue sky, that was orange then purple and now black moves above us.
I was placed there
Like a painting wishing to be set free, from its unforsaken tragedy... You had taken me in off guard, and now i'll wait. I'll Stand. Embrace and Run.
Never heard there
You're leaning in, seconds tell me of your intentions You kiss me. An American touch, soft spoken, warm but unfamiliar. For was this even meant to be? I return to my washed out car, the glass resembling a white winebottle.
And now I remain there
An echo way beyond... and into the distance, its funny how time refuses to let some memories go
Aw. I love the format style, its pretty sweet. and the fade away at the end adds great emphasis to her time spent there and her memory of the kiss. The imagery is brilliant and I love how you say "An American touch" it made my laugh :) very well done! :D
Your poem is colorful and interwoven with subtle emotion. To me, it speaks of the memory of a precious moment in time, sometimes rose-colored and idealized. You have a good imagination and the skill to write it down.
Nicely day. The way you worked with everything is just perfect and moved into one good setting. I don't have to be confused at all. ;) Thanks for sharing this one. You've done well. That's something to smile about. :))
I lived three years in California. I lived in Monterey. California can feel like a dream. I like your story. To be young and far away from home. Good to create memories and have some fun. I like the complete poem. A perfect ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote
I love these hazy glimpses of a memory, yet its in those glimpses it won't be forgotten. Also the images reflect the emotion, and act as similes to ensure the memory. All in all, cool piece.
Aw. I love the format style, its pretty sweet. and the fade away at the end adds great emphasis to her time spent there and her memory of the kiss. The imagery is brilliant and I love how you say "An American touch" it made my laugh :) very well done! :D
Ah, everything about this piece is amazing, from the imagery to the vocabulary to the ending. I especially loved the ending, and how it fades slowly out of view. Lovely poem indeed.
I adore Writing.
¬¬"Is all we see or seem but a dream within a dream?"
- Edgar Allan Poe
¬¬"To live in the world without becoming aware of the meaning of the world is like wande.. more..