Californian Kisses

A young girl passing by a town, shes outside a bar by the beach... met a guy. But somethings wrong. She wants to embrace everything while she can in California, but the truth is, shes lost.

I stood there, tired but happy... stood there as the winds requested my dress dance.
The Californian waves whisped around, like a child... learning to ride a bike.
Or like a kite... reluctantly obeying the currents.

I still stood there

Stood frozen as you placed your hand around my waist... whispering dreams into my ear.
The stained blue sky, that was orange then purple and now black moves above us.

I was placed there

Like a painting wishing to be set free, from its unforsaken tragedy...
You had taken me in off guard, and now i'll wait.
I'll Stand. Embrace and Run.

Never heard there

You're leaning in, seconds tell me of your intentions
You kiss me. An American touch, soft spoken, warm but unfamiliar.
For was this even meant to be?
I return to my washed out car, the glass resembling a white winebottle.

And now I remain there

An echo way beyond... and into the distance,
its funny how time refuses to let some memories go

and so thats how I left it

As a Californian Kiss.
                                A Kiss
                                 ...Just a Kiss

Reviews

[quixotic_rose]

Aw. I love the format style, its pretty sweet. and the fade away at the end adds great emphasis to her time spent there and her memory of the kiss. The imagery is brilliant and I love how you say "An American touch" it made my laugh :) very well done! :D

[L. Edward Neale]

Magic. Pure magic. Awesome formatting. Really helps motivate the piece. You should be proud of that! Bravo!

[TKBickel]

This is a poem that you have to read slowly to absorb the meaning.
I love the first full line. Very unique but the entire poem is unique.

[~Lizzy♬]

This was really good! I wasn't expecting this kind of formatting. It was really cool though! :) Wonderful poem too.

~Lizzy~

[w]

The format and concept are wonderful. Not sure I like the delivery of the stanzas themselves though. The word choice also leaves something to be desired. It feels like you are trying to hard.

[koty bell]

great work:)

[Cole Hayley]

very well wriitten! I also love the format :)

[marytownsend]

You are an amazing writer! This is a great poem! Keep up the good work!

[afra]

i love it ...amazing

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

I love it! It really shows how in time of confusion and even longing, people come into our lives and we want to believe it's right, but that hardest thing is just to accept that it's wrong, and move on. I love love love how you can tell a story in your poems! Fantastic write!