Anonymous existence

A 17 year old confused, shes been abuse... by her friends and those who say they love her. But do they? Shes unsure if anythings good anymore...

Smoking, teasing, stealing, sneezing.
 Peer pressure when i'm on a down low, everything but a hoe. You know... Breezy on the horizon of this mad land, its no bad land. But in my hand, I see a life wasting, its being pulled down the sink or strangled in an alleyway. Its being taken for granted, when everyone else is in the sky. They're high. Every second shes on guard, but every other minute shes got it hard. A smack in the leg, or a slap on her cheek. Shes ashamed of what her life will now be.
        Drinking, running, sleeping, humming.
Nothing precious but a guy she once knew, hes changed now... and never sees her like he used too, maybe it was her. And her friends told her "No!" Or  maybe she just grew up to be a hoe. Like the rest of them are. But its not like that, she tells herself. Its them and not me, i'm never gonna be like I used to be every other week. When I got high and dreamed of a better place to fly. But in this world, I'd prefer to be me than to pretend to be someone within a dream within a dream.

Author's Note

Sorry for repetition of the word hoe, mhm i think i was in a state when i wrote this. aha, hope you can relate to it.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

"But in this world, I'd prefer to be me than to pretend to be someone within a dream within a dream."
Better to be real and seek real dreams. Can't allow the world to control your journey. I like your thoughts and the strong ending. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[joshua deathdealer]

There is a lot going on with this piece but you held it together nicely and I really liked the message. Sad but needed to be said. Well done.

[Wild Willow Blue]

I cannot really say if I can relate, technically, but mentally... not owning up to the fact that you are what you are, I can relate to. I really like your writing, it is very stimulating to the mind. Nice.

[nigrum homonculus]

i like the rhythm and the rawness in your words. love the ending aswell. an excellent piece

[Onix]

LOl ^_^ i like it well done =3 its something diffrent.

[L. Edward Neale]

Has a good rythm for spoken word. Like a chick beatnik rant. Down and dirty! Cool something different. A bit of experimentation always great to see.

[lalala]

awesome :)

[reflectingus]

I just loved the rhyme in those sentences. It was truly enjoyable to read, and elicited strong emotions. Often we wish to be someone else, fear that we're wasting our time, when peer pressure gets to us. I could feel that angst and guilt, and it's during these times it's important to let our doubts help us grow, and become better people. Great job with the writing.

[r. f. jordan]

there is consistent rhythm throughout this piece and it is the rhyme that helps emphasize that rhythm. this is born from the mortar of streets, and speaks with an energy of longing for better. well done.

[timmmmmmsardga]

I like the theme of individuality and self-exploration. Good job!

[Pax]

the title really fits the poem. there is a sad truth about this poem. every 10 teenager there is likely one will suffer in what you wrote. well written.