Well done! I like this...it is a sad walk through of their lives. We know how it was, how the mother is attempting to console and ease the child through the difficulty of leaving, and finally how the mother describes moving toward a better place.
..."they'll find common ground"...I truly believe that everyone, eventually, finds where they belong.
"And as we are going...
I can see it in your eyes, its hard to take.
You're stricken, cold and in pain.
But can still see through the stains that we've left here, you're strong."
...The imagery you created here, the childs eye...very well done! What a perfect way to start such a poem!! Keep writing!!
A powerful poem with a scary story inside the words. Violence is hard to fight against. Sometime escape is the only way. I like the flow of thoughts and the strong ending. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote
Greatly done. I love the feeling these words brought to me. The bitterness and sweetness of living and starting a new life all over. Love it. Keep up the good work.
Phedorah
I like this one a lot. Same thing, you could edit it a little, but its a good strong poem. I like the structure, very unique and its makes the statements ring loud drawing attention to it. Very nice
Survival often means making sacrifices, sometimes you must take one step back before proceeding two steps forward. I love the format, it adds to the power of the wording.
It's absolutely brilliant, well done. My favourite stanza is 'we go...', especially when the cupboards are asking why they are bare. So beautifully written, with a strong message behind it.
I adore Writing.
¬¬"Is all we see or seem but a dream within a dream?"
- Edgar Allan Poe
¬¬"To live in the world without becoming aware of the meaning of the world is like wande.. more..