Lost Heart Soon Free

I need to tell you something

But I have so very little time

 

I guess I’ll start with ‘Hi’

To end this victimless crime

 

You really screwed me over

That day you left me alone

 

I tried so hard to reach you

But your true loyalty was shone

 

Maybe I should have said something

To stop your childish ways

 

Maybe there was nothing I could do

Maybe it’s the end of our days

 

But even if it is the end

I really want you to hear me

 

So here is what I want to say

Just to set my heart free

 

“I hate the way you left me

So scared and alone

I hate the way you hurt me

I think you should have known

I hate the way I was scared

To wake up in the morning

I hate the way I trusted you

I knew that was a warning

I hate how much I hate you

With such a burning fear

I hate that I have to say this

I mean, it has been a year

I hate the way you look at me

Like I’m nothing anymore

I hate the way you talk to me

Like I’m some worthless w***e

I hate the way you smile

So careless and cold

I hate the way my heart feels

Like it’s breaking and old

I hate the way I wrote this

Over and over again

I hate the way I miss you

You hug’s felt perfect then

I hate the way I’m ending this

With such a painful note

I hate the way I’m gonna say this

But these words I already wrote

I hate the way I feel right now

I wonder if you felt like this too

I hate that I have to say this

But I still love you.”

 

Even after you hurt me

So very, very hard

 

You still have my whole heart

But I’m still so scarred

 

I wonder if things were different

Maybe you wouldn’t have left

 

But I guess it’s too late now

You stole my heart with theft

 

So I just thought I’d tell you

How much you mean to me

 

I wish you loved me back

Then I’d finally be free

 

Just keep my heart and hold it close

Please don’t break it anymore

 

I can’t believe I still love you

All I ask is “What for?”

 

Because I can’t end this

On such a secret note

 

I left you one last letter

And here is what I wrote

 

“I hate the way I’m doing this

If only you knew the truth

I hate the way I have this knife

I’m about to kill my youth

I hate the way you won’t come

I’m stuck here all alone

I hate the way I wrote this

With all my feelings shown

I hate how much I love you

I guess I should have guessed

I hate the way I’m saying good-bye

I feel really stressed

I hate the way I remember

The last thing you said to me

I hate the way I’m gonna write it

So that you’ll finally see

 

‘Never say good-bye my love,

Because good-bye means going away

Never go away my love,

Because going away means forgetting.’

 

I hate the way I realized this

You probably forgot about me

I hate the way I said all this

Now I finally see

I hate the way it’s over

Maybe there wasn’t a beginning

I hate the way I’m telling you

That I think I’m actually winning

I hate the way I’m stopping

Trying the kill myself

I hate the way I’m smiling

You should hate yourself

 

I love the way I finished this

I feel so light with joy

I love the way I’m saying this

And that I’m no longer your toy

I love the way I feel right now

Like I have a pure new soul

I love that I get to finish this

With “Go die in a hole.”

Reviews

[.......]

Wow this is really amazing, I can feel the emotional struggle.

[Silent Angel]

Thanks, and no, it wasn't personal. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Matthew Kult]

A roller coaster ride. Great flow and write. Was a good read but felt personal.

Matthew