The Fifth Horseman

Famine

Watch as the 13 year old

Pushes food around her plate

And God forbid a piece makes it

To her mouth

She wouldn’t be an advocate

For the ‘Starving Kids in Africa’

She’d be one of them

Wanting after idols

And wearing a size 2

It isn't enough

Never enough

She’s used to the hunger

The pains in her stomach

Used to the baggy clothes

The 7 miles a day

The fake smiles

The fake laughs

Imperfection

Is the killer here?

The greatest victory

The Black Horse was hoping for

Where the world chooses

To starve themselves

To death.

 

And you say nothing.

 

Conquest

Watch the bald children

With their lives withering away

As cancer rates climb

And doctors

And governments

Sweat to make excuses for the lack

Of a cure

As the kids pull their IV plugs

As they write their last notes

As they give up

Because what’s the point of fighting

If it all comes back?

And a little boy of 12

Crying in a closet

To escape the beeping machines

Finds a way to make it look like

A medical accident

Because his parents are just waiting

His school is waiting

His friends are waiting

For it to be over

And he doesn’t want to hold them

Back

He is not a miracle

His is a burden

He is a wish-granter

He will die

While the White Horse laughs

Its latest conquest

 

And you say nothing.

 

Rage

Watch as the boy from school

Eyes rimmed red with alcohol

Beats out a punching bag

His bruised hands covered in white

The anger burning in his eyes

And when a smaller boy

With blonde curls and thick glasses

Gets too close

He is pounded like a brick wall

Running away crying

His 'manliness' gone

While the boy of anger

Is satisfied for a few

As he signs the papers

As he heads to camp

To continue to beat

Boys his age with different skin

And say it’s for freedom

And say it’s for a country

Draped in red; white; blue

He will laugh at death

And laugh at pain

While inflicting it on others

Because he can’t go home

There is no home

He hopes he dies in battle

Because at least now the bruises

Have a real excuse

And he has an escape

As he spills others blood

The way his was spilled.

 

And you say nothing.

 

Death

Watch as the pretty girl

Carefully cleans her locker

Skipping classes she’s never once

Missed

Too smart to find a friend

Too strong to fall apart

Too weak to stay together

With parents who hear words

But not the sound of the screams

Underneath

With companions who don’t see

The smile stretch her lips

But not her eyes

As she writes a note at lunch

As she picks up the bottle she accidently

Dropped

As she misses school the next day

And the next

And the next

And you finally hear the news

That her parents found her in the bath

Late one night

And she is gone

Gone

Gone

 

And you said nothing.

 

It takes a long time

Before people realize

That there are not four horsemen

Of the apocalypse

There are five

Five as you cry alone in your room

Five as you stay in bed because you can’t get up

Five as you smile and ignore the pain

Five as you slit your wrists

And thighs

And neck

And shoulders

And stomach

And lungs and heart and throat

As you hide the screams

Clawing inside you

As you pretend the pain

Isn’t enough to kill you?

And you don’t talk about

Rape

Or suicide

Or cuts

To death

And bullies

And anger

And starving

And imperfection

And standards

And anxiety

And depression

And love becomes foreign

And words become foreign

And you’re speaking

But you feel mute

And nobody listens

And nobody hears

And maybe they care

And maybe they don’t

And maybe you’ll last

One more day

And maybe

You won’t.

 

Silence.

 

This is the fifth horseman

 

As they witness murder

And say nothing

As they hear a scream

And say nothing

As they see a car crash

And do nothing

As they feed the media

And say nothing

As girls and boys

Starve to be pretty

Cut to be loved

Beat to be idolized

And they say

Nothing.

 

Because half the world

Could be saved

Could be loved

Could be happy

If it weren't for the

Invisible Horseman

Laughing his victory

As he convinces everyone

To say nothing.

 

And you know this.

 

And you say nothing.