Perfect Painting

A little girl dances under the rain, and as she twirls, her flower printed sundress spins out into a wide umbrella. She giggles, showing of an adorable dimple on the side of her cheek and turns her head to the sky, her eyes closed, and smile on her face. A ribbon from her hair falls loose, but she doesn’t care and shakes her light brown locks loose instead, while picking up the long ribbon at the same time.

 

She ran circles around her garden, grasping the ribbon, and weaving it effortlessly through the falling raindrops, painting a picture of a perfect little girl for me without ever touching a canvas in her life.

 

In the skies the clouds parted, and the sun shone through, highlighting the tips of her cherry red cheeks. Suddenly, she stopped dancing, and her face lit up. She ran towards a rose that stood a few inches away from the doorsteps of her home, and bent down to sniff it. Her little fingers brushes gently over the delicate petals of the beautiful red flower.

 

Right there, the image freezes. A perfect painting, of a perfect little girl.

Author's Note

Critiques and interpretations would be very much appreciated, but please ignore the length of it, since it was intended to be short.

Reviews

[Dalebear]

Good write

[Marie Harrison]

So sweet. Our inner child stays with us even until the last days of our life. I can see her soul now. A very endearing story. Bright light to my soul. Thanks for sharing with us.

[Creep]

Honestly, I kept waiting for something dreary to come about. In the end, it was a relief that it did not. An innocence left untarnished for once. She is a lucky girl.

[Stacey Watts]

This was a very beautiful read. I like the flow to it and the story just seems to unfold gracefully before your eyes. Very well written here.

[Wondering Mind]

This was a lovely read. I felt like looking through the eyes of a loving parent who catches that perfect painting of his/her little girl.

[WriterMe]

This was so well written. Very touching at the same time. I wish I was that little girl. Great work =]

[Scene, not herd]

It is lovely, and very well crafted. Your strength in the language is very apparent, as this piece flows well, and sounds like it came out of a novel. Good job!

[MNeilsen]

Excellent imagery, this brought a smile to my face as I witnessed her innocent enjoyment of life's small pleasures. What a wonderful picture you have painted.

[PaperHearts]

This certainly brought a smile to my face! You described the situation with such sweetness and simplicity, and while I was reading this, I could totally imagine everything that this girl was doing! This piece is a real reminder to us all, of how simple life can be if only we let it. :D
The only other thing that I will mention is that throughout this piece, you keep on drifting between writing in past and present tense! Other than that, this is a really cute, well-described write.
~PaperHearts

[LisetteCanWrite!]

A beutiful and innocent image of such a precious child. A small glimpse of a very short moment in time that was brilliantly portrayed.. the perfection was in her just being a child.. not caring for the ribbon that fell out.. no vanity nor image issues at such a perfect age.. I found this very enlightening and wonderful!