Crossed Out Name

I sit expressionless

in a bubble of constant motion

With a thrum, thrum, thrum

of three cords in the back of my mind

 

Captured Photograph of an

orange sky that never stays

is all that remains

 

I wish I could through myself into a

location far beyond this universe

So when I finally rest in slumber

I will no longer feel like a page

with a crossed out name

 

I am not meant for these days

 

Ventures through my weary mind

always bring a distorted memoir of you

Of coffee stained eyes and

a smile warmer than Jupiter

 

Forever I now stand sentry

for a tomb shelter of dirt

Reduced to nothing more than a

blank page

with a crossed out name

Reviews

[Red Brick Keshner]

The feel of being thrown about, tossed in the finds of existence is great in this one. And with the surge and rise of cancel culture, this poem has a particular insight about the internal experience that accompanies. Wondering if a blotting out is any stronger than the visible scars of crossing out. And in the end of it who is really doing the crossing out? Powerful and deep. Thanks for sharing.

[AliciaB]

This is a very cool poem. It's a bit difficult to articulate my thoughts about it, as the poem itself is rather vague, with elements that are hard to pin down and comment on. However, the overall effect of the entire piece is the creation of an emotion that, while I cannot describe it, I can definitely feel. The seconds stanza, with the image of "an orange sky that never stays" as "all that remains" is interesting - thought-provoking paradox there. I also like the line "I am not meant for these days" - that theme is present throughout the poem, but it is most directly verbalized here. I love the images of "coffee stained eyes" and "a smile warmer than Jupiter". They are unique, and they make the person they describe seem more special and more real. I also like the tie-in of "Jupiter" with the "orange sky" and the "universe" - all three create a sense of deep, vast contemplation. (It sounds kind of dumb when I say it like that, but hopefully you get what I mean.) Finally, I am intrigued by the "tomb shelter of dirt", and the repetition of the title of your poem in the middle and end of your poem is beautiful and gives it a sense of unity and finality. Overall, I was moved and impressed by the depth of this work. Excellent job!