Tired

I am so exhausted...

I'm so tired of everything in this world breaking my heart...

The things inside me are slowly tearing me apart and I can't do anything about it...

That's the worst part of it...

Because I am stuck, hidden where no-one can find me...

Shadows smother my pleas for help my pained expressions...

So many things I can't say out loud...

Building up, wearing me down, wearing me thinner and thinner..

I will never get out of here...

Reviews

[AJ Thompson]

A very dark piece, but I can certainly relate. I liked the line about shadows smothering your please for help. Sometimes when we get so deep into a certain mind set and we get stuck there we feel like no one is hearing our cries for help or seeing that we're going through pain. This is where writing often comes in handy. You're very good at capturing emotion and expressing it properly, but again I think the flow of this could be improved by trimming the piece down a bit and changing the wording. Still loved it, great job.

[aziza]

I feel like reading about me....really exhausted! True emotions in lines.Love it

[authorised1960]

You won't thank me for saying this but I find that there is a certain amount of indulgent self-pity about a lot of your work. It seems to me at times that you revel in your unhappiness and misery rather than try and find a positive on which to hang hope and optimism.

I have been to dark places, too; the darkest of dark. Even then I sought that pinprick of light that would take me upwards and forwards. It seems to me - and the tone of your work supports my feelings - that even if you saw that tiny spark of hope, you'd ignore it. If you accepted the fact that things CAN get better the whole foundation on which you build your misery would start to crumble and, God forbid, you would have to accept that there is more to life after all!

Your poems are not bad, not in the least. They are, though, somewhat repetitive in tone and content. I would very much like to see you turn your skills to something lighter and more optimistic in outlook. You might even surprise yourself! :-)