Hapy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day to the one i loved upmost of all....

Happy Valentines Day to the one who i loved upmost of all and gave all my love to. This is for you, for showing me what i truly deserve, for treating me like the queen i truly am.

This is for you because on such a loving day i couldn't help but think of everything you put me through. I cant help but remember the times you made me feel worthless to you but thank you.

Thank you because now what i thought would be impossible to find, I'm no longer searching for. Because now in my lonely times i have you to remind me that those moments are only temporary. Because even though you did treat me extraordinary sometimes it wasn't enough. And no mater how much this breaks my heart to say i have to because you and i both know we need closure and the way our road is looking we might not get that from far from now. You weren't enough for me, not in the sense that you didn't hug me enough. But you couldn't admit enough, you couldn't say sorry enough. You weren't enough in the sense that even when you made me feel like the only girl in the world i still somehow managed to picture you looking at someone else.

You weren't enough in the way that my love didn't satisfy you and it brought the hate out in you. My issues were just a little to big and my love for you was just a little too small is what i picked out from everything you've told me..

I never got to thank you for the good things you did teach me, you taught me how to love myself and never put another before my own. You taught me how to live again, be me again, but it wasn't me who i became. I got doused in a pool of you and when i dried i had some stains left.

Ive never felt the love you let me feel, ive never felt the hurt you let me feel, and ive never felt the sorrow you brought out of me. But i promise you when i say this. I did feel the heartbreak which came with it, i felt every inch of my heart crack when we last talked and i felt every vein that broke within me. 

No matter how much hate that builds up inside of me for you because you loved me like no other but hurt me like nobody ever has and for that i will never forget you. I will never forget what you taught me and my love for you will never fade. This is for you my lovely valentine, whom is no longer mine.