Understanding you

This is a story/ poem based on my questions and understandings based on a situation I delt with

I don't understand love it's so confusing I mean we as people use this word so freely but what does it mean? We live in a world of strangers in which one day we hope to find love, but it's almost impossible. Love is an illusion it's fake it's something we as humans make up when we gather strange feelings towards another but it's also a feeling and it's a feeling strong enough to make us want to put that person first and think about them before ourselves making us care about them almost more than we care about ourselves, love is something that let's you be yourself around the other person knowing you won't be judged. Love is the feeling we as people get were we get butterflies in our stomachs and loose all words the sad thing is we as people take love for granted and most of the time we just push it aside thinking of it as nothing more than a word. Some people would go as far to say they'd die for a person but I guess everybody would describe it differently because truthfully it's mostly something we ourselves have to experience or take the time to understand and I'm still trying to figure it out. So here's what I understand I have this feeling towards you that you don't have back but I don't know what to call it let's see i could say I like you or I like you a lot but no those don't explain I could say I love you but how can I love someone that's not close with me that word is too strong hmm what about I have feelings for you? You see none of these things work they just confuse me more I don't even know what I think of you I mean you have such a way with speaking saying you don't like me but yet you're protective of me I'm yours well kind of I'm yours in the aspect that you don't want me to be with anyone else because your scared. You're scared of loosing that thing you don't actually have and sure you have all the options in the world but you are stuck with me because you find me complicated. I'm hard to understand because unlike most people I did let you in but not far enough for your likings and that confuses you it makes you wonder if your doing something wrong, but you'd never admit that you are cause you'd put it on me hopefully making me change for you so you can fulfill your desires but what about mine? To you I'm a toy you can do whatever you want with me but eventually will get tired and throw me away but still I admire you still I stay in hopes that things will change. But there's a problem we both lead each other on it's like as soon as one stops the other picks up where they left off and it's confusing. You seem to hold this problem you want me to feel the same way I made you feel which I'm guessing wasn't great cause now you want nothing to do with me all you want is a streak and to know I'm still someone who if need be you can go to. The problem is I won't stop trying because I care all too much and yes I care about you but obviously you don't feel the same way so why should I? The problem is I can't not because at a point you were more than just a streak you were something real but I guess we aren't anymore because you "don't feel the same way anymore" whatever that means...and this brings me to my point what is love? It's way too complicated for me to understand but maybe you get it but honestly it's hard for me to believe that a guy like you would seeing you just want new toys that you can play with then get rid of them when the new shipment comes in.

Author's Note

Give me your honest opinions I just would like to know what you guys think and if you have something super negative to say don't say it I'm looking for criticism but not just someone being rude

Reviews

[SamSim27]

I think this is really good, really honest and somewhat emotional.
I, personally, have had similar conversations and arguments with myself, but the way you have written it makes the reader feel that they are having this argument with you.

I did find the sentences a little too long at times. Though, it did arouse a feeling of panic and breathlessness, which in a way added to the urgency of your words.

[David R Gonzalez]

I can tell there is quite a bit of you in this work. You have captured in your writing an internal struggle beautifully. Using your words you were able to create the same emotions the narrator felt within the reader. This is not something that is common and it is the sign of a good writer. Thank you for sharing this.