26: Goodbye to a Former Friend

I carefully traced the dark brown pencil through my eyebrows, and combed through my hair. I was getting better at putting on make-up, since I had something to wear it for, anyway. I smiled back at myself in the mirror, and gave myself a thumbs-up. Then, I lifted my shirt, and stared at my belly from the side. I pinched the little amount of fat. 

How did I ever think I was fat? How did I ever get so worried over a little chocolate? Or some frosting? If anything, I needed more food. 

I pulled it back down, and smoothed it out. Cliff was taking me out fancy tonight. I had on a white button up shirt with sleeves as tight as my jeans usually were, a blue vest, a skirt (which went halfway down my thigh, and I thought was WAY too long), and tights. I sort of looked like I was wearing a school uniform, yet sexier. The sleeves cut of about halfway up my arm, which gave me the other half to deck out in jewelry and bright blue nail polish. I had to buy most of these things, but it was well worth it. Things between Cliff and I, they were getting a little serious, and I liked it. A committed relationship was just what I was looking for. One with Cliff, at least.

Cliff wanted this with me, I could tell. He always talked about Austin, and I knew the two were growing apart. Though, he wanted me more, and that was something Austin just had to live with. Actually, he even asked me how he should kick Austin out. I told him to just do it, because Austin was a p***y, and would cry like some frigid b***h who was on her period. Sometimes, I hated girls, just because they would cry over anything. Not me, though. I wouldn’t cry. How could anyone cry in a world like this? It was just full of surprises!

Honestly, I couldn’t wait until he kicked Austin out. I hated the way that Austin looked at me whenever he was there. He still wanted me, and I wasn’t sure why. He needed to learn to get over me, and to move on. Austin just needed to learn what living life was. It was certainly not going off and getting drunk, or wasting your money in Silver, or doing dangerous stuff like going out to a cave during a storm. Austin was a dumbass. 

I gave myself another smile into the mirror, and skipped out the door in my new shiny, black shoes. I hummed to myself down the hallway, and found my aunt actually home, and standing in the doorway. 

“Ida? Is that you?”

“Yeah! Don’t I look... just... amazing?!”

“You look...”

She thought I looked like a prostitute, which I probably did. 

“I’m going out with Cliff tonight.”

“Didn’t you last night?”

“What? No. I haven’t seen Cliff in a while. I was here last night, don’t you remember?”

“Oh, yes, now I do! Sorry, dear.”

I had been out with Cliff yesterday, and everyday. Either I went there or he came here, or we met in Silver. I usually went over to Shoreville every other day. This was how we were getting serious. We were together so often, and we where having sex and going out to so many places, it had to be getting serious, especially for Cliff. 

“Well, bye Aunt Tracy!”

“Bye, dear!”

I rushed out the door just in case she actually remembered something for once. The sun outside was setting, so it wasn’t extremely hot, thought it was still about sixty-some degrees out. I hopped into Aunt Tracy’s car, and pulled out her phone. It was about time to leave, if I wanted to get to Cliff’s on time. 

Hopefully Austin wouldn’t be there. I wished Cliff would just kick him out already. Cliff said he was having trouble doing so because he used to be so attached to Austin. Now they were just two people living together. No longer best of friends. Which was good. My Cliff didn’t need to associate with Austin, and I told him that. I knew now Austin and I couldn’t be friends. He didn’t like Cliff and me together, and anyone who thought that way could not be trusted. I was even losing touch with Juliet. If it was for Cliff, I was OK with that. Cliff was mine, and I wasn’t about to let either of them take it away from me. 

I still felt good about the pact. Even if I wasn’t friends with him, I didn’t want to be responsible for Austin’s death. That would be just horrible. No, pretending my life was on the line would make things much better. 

I started the car, pressed my foot on the brake, and pulled into reverse. I backed out, and then sped off out into the world beyond Saco. I drove along the ocean, and it seemed more beautiful than ever before. Finally, things were going absolutely right. So right, that I was invincible. Nothing could take me down.

Austin couldn’t fight with me on this, he couldn’t sit there and cry about how much it hurt him, because this was my life, and I was chasing down something I believed in and made me happy. And for him to be happy, I would have to take away what made me happy. He would have to deal with it, because I was not the bad guy. 

I raced along water, and down the road. The car and a pleasant atmosphere to it. One that brought your shoulders back and chin up. Maybe that was just my mood. I didn’t care, I was about to see Cliff.  

I looked into the mirror, and tried to adjust every part of me to be as perfect as possible. Everything was just perfect in life, and I seemed to be matching it. 

I rode along peacefully for some time. Mostly I thought about Cliff, even so that I was barely watching the road. Yet out on the highway there were barely any cars. Cliff was amazing. Everything was amazing. It was all just perfect. 

“Cliff!”

The door swung open, and I wrapped my arms around him. 

“Hey, sweetie.”

He smiled a little at me, then looked away.

“Like my vest? And my shoes?”

“Beautiful. Look, I gotta take a shower. I’ll be right back. Come in.”

I walked in, leaning close to him.

“You know, I could join. I’d clean you.” I giggled, staring up at his blank face, waiting for a reaction.

“Yeah. That’s fine. Just wait here.”

I frowned at his lack of humor today. Something was different. I searched deep into his face, but his dog eyes rejected mine, and he walked away toward the bathroom. 

I slumped into the recliner, and found myself playing with my eyebrow ring. Suddenly, the door burst open, and Austin stood in the door. 

“Great,” I thought to myself, “this is exactly what I was trying to avoid!”

He stared at me for a second, as if he didn’t recognize me. Then, his eyes formed into narrow slits, and he rolled them before stumbling closer.

Right on his left eye was a big, black and purple bruise. Little patches of yellow were beyond that, and dried blood caked his mouth. Alcohol emitted strongly from his presence. 

“You’ve been drinking.” I said, ready to leave to Cliff’s bedroom.

“YOU’VE been drinking.”

“Shut up, you drunk.”

“I don’t have to. And you don’t have to be here. You don’t live here.”

“Neither do you.”

“Yes, I do. I live with Cliff.”

“Not for long, dumbass.”

He stared blankly for a moment, then fell into the bookshelf. He propped himself up on the bottom shelf, and stared again.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean he’s getting rid of you! You’ll be gone! Poof! You’ll go back to your parents house! You’ll leave me (and thank God), and you’ll leave him, because he doesn’t want you.”

I hated being so mean to the poor kid, but he was beginning to deserve it. It seemed all he did was drink. It seemed a little obsessive. 

“W-what?”

“Yes. Get it in your head! No one wants you here! Go back to your f*****g mommy and daddy, and your f*****g dead brother! In fact, this is better, join him, because we don’t want you here. Cliff and I are happy together. Though we’d be happier without you.”

“Ida... I love you.”

“And you’re a f*****g creep.”

I stood up, disgusted.

“And Cliff wouldn’t kick me out.”

Though there was doubt in his drunk-a*s voice.

“He wouldn’t? Then why is he, huh?”

“I-”

“Huh?! Tell me, Austin! Why would he not kick you out?”

“We’re friends-”

“Yeah, but you guys hardly talk anymore. That’s because you’re a drunk, obsessive creep. Stay away from me! Please! Stay away!”

He was standing up now, and he wobbled uncertainly before he stood fully erect.

“Look! Look at you! You’re standing there, just standing there! It’s ridiculous! You know you love me! I love you! You... me. I want- no, better, I need you! You won’t see that will you?”

“Shut up! You f*****g creep! Just get away from here! Do us a favor and pack your things while we’re out, cause neither of us have anything to say to you. At least anything that isn’t going to offend you. Cliff hates you. He told me so. He despises you.”

This was a lie, Cliff had never told me so. Though, he was my Cliff. Mine. And I wasn’t about to let someone ruin that.

I looked down at my body, and realized I was red with anger. My body held fire. If I could see my eyes, they’d stare back, and show me the years that I’ve seen. The troubles. The sorrows printed into my expression. I had awoken a sort-of protective side within me, and that would show up on my expression, too. 

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

“No! Listen, Austin, he hates you. Despises you! He wishes you were never friends with him!”

He was stumbling towards me.

“No!”

“Yes!”

He was just inches away! The beer was stronger now, filling my nostrils. Suddenly, he grabbed my by the arm, so hard that it hurt. It hurt me. I remembered the old Austin, the one that could never hurt a fly, and looked up into cold, unforgiving eyes. Eyes that I had seen before in my father. 

My heart beat fast in my ears, and my whole body shook trebling with fear. They’re faces mashed slowly together. Suddenly, I was a little girl, and my drunk father was standing over me, grabbing my arm. 

I shrunk as far back into the corner of the room as possible, but his grip grew tighter. Tighter. Tighter. His eyes were like a serpents, and I imagined he could strike like one. I imagined he would leap forward, and bash my brain in. 

“Daddy! No! Go away!”

Tears began to stream down my face. I trembled just like the little girl in pigtails did so long ago. I could feel his fists ready to fly, and suddenly, he was Austin again.

His lips were ready, and he kissed me on the cheek. Mainly because I moved my lips away. 

“Get off of me! Creep!”

Suddenly, my arm gave a sharp tug as it was pulled along with Austin down to the ground. His grip released shortly after, and my arm numbed up in pain, and needles shot through it. He was lying on the ground, apparently uncontious. Though, an eye flickered, and he stared at me. 

I sat in the corner, with my arms up around my knees, and tears streaming down my face. He looked like a wild animal after it had been captured. A crazy, glazed over look, and just a touch of sadness, so that a single tear dripped down his face. 

“Get away from her, f*****g dick!”

Cliff was over me, and helping me to my feet. I wrapped my arms around him and sobbed.

“That’s it! Austin, no! No more! You can’t live with me! Me and Ida are leaving, and I want you packed by tomorrow! You’re getting out of my f*****g house!”

He just laid there, and eventually curled up into a ball. His body shook like mine with sobs, and I had to look away. I couldn’t bear the sight of him. 

“Out! Seriously! You’re not living with me anymore, because I can’t take this!”

He got up, and looked at the both of us as seriously as possible before breaking out into tears again. He ran out of the room, sobbing his a*s off. 

Cliff held on to me for as long as I would let him, but eventually I let go, because I really just wanted to be alone, and to lay down for a bit. To think.

“Alright, sweetie, I’ve got a shower to take. You’ll be all right?”

“I’ll b-be... f-f-fine, I think.”

“Alright, good.”

I slumped down, and found myself shaking. I was just attacked by Austin. He had just tried to kiss me. He had left a bruise on my arm, and a big one, at that.

I wanted to call the police, but stopped myself, and thought it would be a bad idea. Though, maybe it wouldn’t be. 

Austin was just some kid, nothing more. Maybe at one time, maybe two weeks ago, he was a friend. No, not now. Now he was just Austin, and simply that. He was Austin. I wanted to kick him in the face and bash his brains in, because he had hurt me. And because he was so stupid to try and mess with Cliff. Cliff was amazing. Cliff was my world. Cliff was everything. Without him... I didn’t even want to think of what would happen.

Goodbye Austin.

I watched, trembling, as Austin pulled himself off the floor, and stood in front of me.

A faint, “sorry,” escaped his quivering lip, but it was as high-pitched as Juliet and nearly inaudible. 

“I’ll just-” and his voice shattered like glass. 

With no words to say, he turned his back to me, and slumped miserably out the door.