The Guinea Hens

Weeping willows wisp

the dusk

quips

to quinea hens

strung about

the yard.

 

Careful now

you little ones

know not

what is within

his arrow

quill may

be upon you

still

within the

simple wind.

 

Yet, ye survive

another night

though you can not

take flight

but simply meandered

here from

a neighboring

farm.

 

But beware

the song

of the bow

grown strong

shall you tread

within

the laborers

sight again.

 

 

Reviews

[OT]

I like that you draw so much from the scenes I presume are around you - the spiders and hens - so many try to explore the depths of their mind and fail - when there is so much to see around - here you draw on that - create a story for the hens - "but beware the song of the bow" - what a great line that is - the flightless bird meandering around lol - don't get too close perhaps... I enjoyed the rhymes too - especially - "weeping willows wisp the dusk quips" - the sibilance, and rhyme - nice!

[Notsoloud]

Very haunting in it's own right. I was drawn by the alteration that seemed to dance in and out of this poem. Very.... folksy. (for lack of a better term)

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

THank you for reading and the thoughtful comment.

[Michael G. Smith]

Scenee from a far. Very well laid out scene for my mind's eye to see.

[David Michael]

You have a very unique style, at least in the two poems I've read. It's not quite like any I've seen on WC, or in published works. I'm sure it's around, but hey! Kudos on making it new to me :) Anyways, it's intriguing and enjoyable. I like the strength it gathers by using words very wisely and succinctly. My poems often suffer from too many words. Thanks for the read!

[Judas Hammer]

very cool. Original or at least for me. I like this.

[Larry Dyson]

SOmething is afowl when the guinea jumps the fence..hehe

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I think I just learned abut an animal I am not familiar with... I smooth flow and sharp wit made this a fun poem.

[Samuel Dickens]

I'm of two minds with this; I love nature's creations, but also can relate to being hungry. I guess the laborer would put the bow away if you gave him a bucket of KFC.

[Aidz]

Simple and well delivered, some nice strong imagry