Broken Vessels

I can see peace

stars

and the shards of the past

 

broken vessels of what

I once was.

 

Yet now I have

the strength

to pick up those pieces

 

glue them

wrench them

back together

with a caulking gun.

 

And use the vessels

anew.

 

 

Reviews

[Michael]

Hope springs eternal - it might be a common enough saying but common things are that way for a reason, they are true. What is not so common is the voice you give to the subject, it is enjoyable and unique. I really love the internal rhyme in the first stanza.

It made me think of one of mine, I will send you a read request for it. I would like to have your thoughts on it.

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

ah that was wondefful! x0x0x00x

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Words of hope written well. broken pieces of your life put back together. Nice work.

[Raja]

First, I like to tell you that I like the poem in short words - it is short and has profound impact on me and it is simple and mature to convey its idea.

Next, I like the thought. After all, one has to get the courage and stamina to join the parts. We have to learn this, and you have shown this truth by the extremely communicative flow of words. Thank you for that to 'make the vessel anew'.

Thank you.

Raja.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like this very much. I think it could be tightened a bit. I would leave out "the" in the first stanza and the word "yet" in the third. But the rest seems necessary for logical progression in the piece. Just my thoughts. An interesting poem, to be sure, its comparisons are very magnetic. Great job here.

[Edward Carr]

Fourth stanza in my opinion is very strong statement and uses very strong verbs like "wrench" which is fantastic word choice. Need some punctuation after "glue them" maybe a dash or a comma. You do not need the word "yet" at the beginning of the third stanza. Eliminate the "And" beginning the last stanza and run the last stanza in with the first. "...caulking gun, using the vessels anew." Although I do not like anew either as a word choice, sounds too poetic. But other than these things, I think this poem is very strong with a very strong statement.

[Periac]

great write.....loved its rebirth image i got at the end......well written.....sometimes i wish i stocked up with the cauking gun

[Gandré]

ohh....this was really very touching... I loved your words on this one!
...the subject relating to winning strength of managing a difficult time
and seeing a new hope in using the knowledge one is gaining after the
survival of hard times,


Yet now I have

the strength

to pick up those pieces



glue them

wrench them

back together

with a caulking gun.-----especially here



and you so brilliantly explained this requiring a great mental
or even physical efford to accomplish the difficult task called life, here:
And use the vessels

anew. ---------this was such an excellent "life aid" and poetry!