Our Story

There was a girl and a boy

who lived very far from one another

their essences traveled from one side of the world

to the other in waves of elation, delight-

waves faster than the speed of sound,

they traveled though ethereal space and time

into one another's embrace

rising to one another as the Phoenix

as their astral bodies melded into a unity

that physical bodies could not equal-

it was a melding of sweet revelation

where no words needed to be spoken

as a million things were said without speaking a word.

 

They felt transcending, pure, unequivocal, absolute happiness

as they never knew before,

so great, so pure was their happiness

that they were dreadfully scared of spoiling it

in any way, lest it would burst

like a bubble, so they knew not whether they

would ever meet in real life yet they held hope

that one day they might gaze into one another's eyes,

see a vision of each other's souls.

 

They looked forward with barely controlled excitement

to gazing deeply into, tasting one another

perceiving a vision of paradise and escstasy there

which in turn would bring them closer to divinity

a sweet paradise on earth-

they couldn't keep their hands from one another

would kiss, lick, gaze deeply into one another's eyes

all day and night long

as their minds' eyes met as One

they spun into the Universe in electric azure blue

while their simultaneous orgasm lasted for eternity,

filling the entire cosmos with its energy,

its bliss creating supernovas, shooting stars

within space and time while

his ejaculata became the nebulae

her seed became the stars.

 

Together these birthed a new galaxy

amidst the cosmos as their cries of ecstasy

reverberated through the space time continuum

forever and ever joining the infinite

wisdom of the planets and galaxies beyond

as their Love became the Universe

the Universe became Them,

their love gave birth to the Universe

the Universe gave birth to Them

and in the Beginning was the End

in the End was the Beginning.

 

Reviews

[Michael X]

Sidartha.. this speaks to every readers soul.. of gods and goddesses divine in their own making-
creation being the catalyst for what affection abounds in stars.. the nebuala skies of eternity
i enjoyed the way your passion sends chills through the body..percieving celestial heights.. with ambition
describing the cosmic throes of ecstacy in painted prose.. revealing what becomes of "stardust"

ethereal romance.. your metaphysical projections wisp auras with magical winds.. the way distances
come together when two souls look at the moon simultaniously.. describing desire unbound..
traveling- reaching- enlightening space and time..to what becomes of revelations.. loved this

[Just Manoosh]

From the very begining I was hooked. This piece is brilliant on so many levels.

The structure, the content, the flow, the words .......... all combined to make an absolutely masterpiece.

Very well thought out honey, this completely amazed me.

Mx

[Solst Rapture]

What a wonderful and extremely creative idea. The crescendo had me hooked:

"...minds' eyes met as One
they spun into the Universe in electric azure blue
while their simultaneous orgasm lasted for eternity,
filling the entire cosmos with its energy,
its bliss creating supernovas, shooting stars
within space and time while
his ejaculata became the nebulae
her seed became the stars..."

It's simply wonderful. It actually filled me with a kind of new sense of joy. Not the same old 'isn't that nice' kind of joy, but WOW, this is really novel. Fusing the nature of Physics into the nature of Love and giving it some kind of personification, without over doing it. The only real mention is 'There was a girl and a boy'. Very clever.

The opening stanza was ever so slightly awkward for me, setting the scene nicely. I had to try to get to know myself. It was very subjective. What if I were that boy and who would the girl be, etc. Once I had allowed the story to include me, things started to happen. The space between me and you, as a writer/reader relationship, began to fuse as the love and the universe fused. It was kind of like a magic.

Yes, Siddartha, this one has my vote of confidence...I should imagine this will be enjoyed by a lot of people, as it already has been, I see.

[Cardinal Robin]

Great write, reminds me of TS Eliot and a little of Blake. Superb job! It is sort of a synoptic vision of all the pieces of yours... like a collage of your writing so far. Lovely! Profound beauty.

[Lily1111]

An amazingly written piece that engages and carries the reader along with the pure power of the sentiment expressed. Expertly woven, incredibly visual.

The closing lines (my favorite):

as their Love became the Universe
the Universe became Them,
their love gave birth to the Universe
the Universe gave birth to Them
and in the Beginning was the End
in the End was the Beginning.

There is really no limit to what love can create and that was just a magnificent way to close this wonderful poem. Well done!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was just awesome, a love universe, and indeed it is...lol just beautiful! magnificent!

[Antonio Valentino]

"while their simultaneous orgasm lasted for eternity,
filling the entire cosmos with its energy,
its bliss creating supernovas, shooting stars
within space and time while
his ejaculata became the nebulae
her seed became the stars."

Wow, and I take it this was before Viagra even?
Seriously, what a wonderful way to go through life
seeing things like this in your own special way.

Wonderful Sid!

Rich

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Oh my God this is amazing and divinely beautiful... the eternal connection of two souls wrapped in blissful love... Using the powers of the universe and the never ending galaxy is to describe it is truly astounding... I am in awe of this piece. Standing ovation!!

[darkgurl]

"Together these birthed a new galaxy amidst the cosmos as their cries of ecstasy" Love these lines right here, this is a most beautiful write here, and passionate, very well written.

[Boris]

This is a superb piece of writing Sid describing the kind of love that can move mountains if not beget universes.

I also think the previous reviews are quite insightful and have pretty much said all that I wanted to say about it. I particularly like Justin's astute observation of how this poem adroitly combines a love story and a creation myth within one setting.

Great work Sid, well done!

[[untitled]]

I love the last two lines, they are memorable to the reader. Long distance love can be very painful and at times unreal, but you have your hopes and dreams in place. I wish you all the best if this is non-fiction...if not, I wish you love...
(Sweel...sweet?)
Cheers,
Helen :-)