The Dance

A dance in time

to the perfect rhythm

could erase the mind

of all its hum drum

undertakings-

 

below the beautiful pine

the fragrance in the air

he tightly holds her spine

floating as a pair

of hummingbirds

in full bloom

of the apple trees

as the breeze

carries them finally

to their knees-

 

in precious moments

of bliss

awaiting the majestic kiss

he passes to her

in longing embrace-

 

strong hands caress

her delicate face

as eyes pass emotion

strong, powerful

yet sincere, sweet

felt down to the toes

to feet

trembling

with anticipation-

 

now suckled

swiftly without a care

how could he dare

yet she loves the whole

unfolding

of their ever loving

motions

praying they not subside

but that he remain there

in her mind

taking her body at will

delighting in the spill

of their wine upon the lawn

prances as delicate

as fawns-

 

as innocent as babes

yet mature in age

their lovemaking does not

cease

with the raising of the

tangerine moon

though they both know

he will be leaving soon

these minutes upon hours

of exotic, errogenous

explorations

shall remain forever

between them

burned into memories upon

the sweet, aromatic breeze.

 

 

Reviews

[[untitled]]

What a wonderful write, to say the least. It dances with grace from the screen to the reader's imagination. In whole, it's beautiful but, in particular, I adore this part;
"as innocent as babes
yet mature in age
their lovemaking does not
cease
with the raising of the
tangerine moon"
Thank you for sharing

[Adam Chambers]

yet she loves the whole

unfolding

of their ever loving

motions
I THINK THIS SECTION IS STRONG

with the raising of the

tangerine moon

though they both know

he will be leaving soon
THIS RHYME SEEMS A LITTLE FORCED THOUGH

shall remain forever

between them

burned into memories upon

the sweet, aromatic breeze.

THIS ENDING KIND OF COLLAPSES FOR ME, AFTER WHAT IS OVERALL AN ENGAGING POEM. I THINK IT IS BECAUSE "SWEET... BREEZE" COMES ACROSS AS SOMEWHAT OF A CLICHED METAPHOR, ESPECIALLY IN THE CONTEXT OF SOME VERY GOOD RYTHMS AND WORD CHOICES EARLIER IN THE POEM.
I DO LIKE THE BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN RHYME AND FREE VERSE THROUGHOUT THE POEM.

[Jenny Davis]

This is nothing less than gorgeous. I loved all the images and the emotion you invoked in this piece...extremely well done! :)

[Periac]

i absolutly loved this

[An owl on the moon]

Absolute bliss in every word and line, dripping sweetly like honey! Your use of nature wrapped around and through the lovers is magnificent...

Craig

[Forest Green]

Your poem skips across the soft smooth pond of sensuality with grace and true enticement.

Wonderful words...poetic and alive.

Flawless...!

Daniel

[robin]

zesty hot lascivious agony enriched suppressed implosive ecstatic boundless intense creation.