The Peacock's Fertility Dance

Isolated in solitary confinement

Monsieur peacock finds himself

in the petting zoo-

 

While the hens he loves to show off to

prance around in silence

deafening

within the barn at Maymont Park,

Richmond, Virginia.

 

He shows off his wild plumagged tail

to all the people there

who have come to see the wild pet

kept in his detached fence

away from his girls.

 

Disjointed, disturbed he must feel

to be separated from his lovely dears

that are meant to flock with him

yet separate they are kept

and he must weep peacock tears

in the darkness every night

from his lonely existence

away from them.

 

A suffocating scene

turned phenomenal

when at last they release a hen

unto his corral-

 

How abstract

like a Rothko painting

to see his tail shoot out

shake his stunning feathers

to get the attention of his

dear mate to be-

 

An odd dance he does

to get her attention

and again

the crowd replies

with thunderous applause

for the stunning peacock's fertility dance

together again, at last!

 

 

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

Not sure Rothko would be the best Abstract Expressionist to choose. I would have gone for more of a Sam Francis. However I like this concept with its old fertility concepts. Extremly well written.
By the way the rating thingy is not working. So take no notice of it. 98% really

[Emel Kay]

My my, what a refreshing piece this is.
I very much enjoy the subject, as it is not one likely to be found anywhere commonly. I think you don't overuse 'poetic' language, and you certainly don't under use language either. My only neutral criticism is this: it felt like the lines dropped at the end of each line. I don't know why, either. It just felt like the weight of the line previous wasn't carried over to the next line, maybe? I think it may have been the "they" and "the" in the poem itself, perhaps you should gloss over and economize your language a bit. Other than that, I very much enjoyed your poem. Nicely done.