The Walk

Absurd realism

I wake up in the morning dazed and all alone,

My soul smiles from the ceiling, it had left me long ago.

And alone I see my face, in this old and crazy place,

I light up a smoke, I run with the time, my mind is in a daze.

 

Snatches of the night before just comes in through this door,

And the devil and the God got nothing more, I had to swim to the shore,

I’m walking down the road again, just to see those trodden leaves,

Though it’s dark, I can feel the stares of the huge, menacing trees.

 

But I’m walking down that road again,

I don’t know why, I know not how -

I want to feel the burn, I want to taste the ice,

I want to be the fire now.

 

As I lie down on my bed with the whiskey in my head,

I’m lighting up a smoke, but the fire’s always dead.

And I want to break the chains that bind me to the bottom of the sea

And fly like the wind, and feel like the sun, and I will be free - 

 

I can somehow see my life beneath a mountain of disguise,

And the soul and the heart, lighting up a fire beneath the open skies.

And you can see from where you’re standing now that the world has changed a lot,

Love can be sold, love can be bought, even the mighty Lord is shot.

 

And I’m walking down that road again,

I don’t know why, I know not how,

I’m walking down, down to the rain,

I don’t know why, I know not how,

I want to feel the burn, I want to taste the ice,

I want to be the fire now.

Reviews

[Leviari]

I'm so glad I bumped into this piece! You created a dark, nostalgic atmosphere and there's something hypnotic about it. This poem reminded me of some old rock ballads (please do consider this a compliment ahah) about empty roads, whiskey and cigarettes.
Many feelings in here! Great writing :)

[Siddhartha Chatterjee]

you're right. The idea is indeed influenced by the old rock ballads. Thank you!

[Chris Shaw]

Your opening stanza draws the reader in and sets the scene. I really enjoyed your poetic expression in this piece. "my soul smiles from the ceiling, it had left me long ago" is fabulous and informs the reader so much about how the writer is feeling. Your last two lines give hope that the writer is ready to regain his soul and experience life in full. Very nicely done.

Chris

[emipoemi]

.........you never cease to amaze me. Just a couple of grammatical and musicality errors in Stanza 2, but other than that I am in freaking awe. This is tooo amazing for words:

Stanza 2 Line 1: "Snatches" is plural, so "comes" should be "come"; and you don't need the "the" before "shore" in Line 2 (the musicality is smoother without it).

But I applaud and wholeheartedly laud your talent, man. This is brilliant! Well freaking done!!

[Hardesty]

I liked how you covered a lot of ground with the sea and fire, ice, etc. Had a little bit of everything. I should write longer poems like you :(

[Siddhartha Chatterjee]

Many thanks!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

a road of doubt and guilt travelled by many and expressed in an honest flowing verse with nice rhyming piece. Love the first stanza as an opening scene.

[Siddhartha Chatterjee]

Thank you!