SO BEING YOURS.

SO BEING YOURS.

A Poem by Red Rose
"

You claimed me. I can't escape. I don't want to.

"
Who knew?
The rudiments of being owned.
A leash on the fragile heart.

Obscuring patterns 
All, between you and me.
Breathless, senses hyped.

You felt, but I felt more.
Heat. Got my heart racing.
Cold. And I'm drowning.
So very real.

Haunting whispers and commands
Thoughts synced with yours.
You lead, I follow
I'm all yours.

Caught up in your thunderstorm 
strike a thrill, I consume.
Break the absolute law
And confront the inevitable consequences.
So very much alive.

Conclusion?
You want me, but I need you.
So being yours.
You, a drug I spend my life savings on.
I take you all in.

And now I'm all, but nothing, without you.
Literally.

© 2018 Red Rose


Author's Note

Red Rose
Hmmm.. What do you think? I hope it's good enough.. It's been a while since I last wrote a poem. I haven't lost touch have I?

My Review

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Featured Review

The passion, chaos, and ache rumble through the piece.
It feels fragmented, but I think that reflects the general tumult of the inner psyche absorbing all kinds of emotions.

'Conclusion?
You want me, but I need you.'

Think that sums it up best. I also love the imagery of a heart on a leash.

The one suggestion I would give (I usu give one) - I don't think you need the last two lines.

I think ending on drug metaphor would end it more strongly. But, that's just me.

Vibrant read. Enjoyed.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

You are painting a familiar scene here, and a sad one for many. This doesn't sound like a message where being "possessed" is expressed like a bad thing, but in between your lines, I can feel the oppression that's sprinkled in barely-there doses. Your message is understated, but it comes across loud & clear. The way you convey it, the style is similar to the message -- the understated wall flower that reflects love but is starving for some to hold onto, too. I've missed reading you. You're still going strong, so keep it up, cuz we wanna read you more often! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked the conclusion most above all. The description was true. And now I am all but nothing without you, very clever line one really feels this way, nicely penned.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Haunting whispers and commands
Thoughts synced with yours.
You lead, I follow
I'm all yours.

mmm :) nicely done Rose...

The rudiments of being owned.
A leash on the fragile heart.

Especially the above was new to me..
leash on heart... so creative... :)




Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

nice read. Thanks for sharing.
Its good and don't take another break. Keep writing.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very Nice.....And Last Stanza Was Well.....And Your Language Is Very Difficult As Usual....Difficult Words Make Me Difficult To Understand......But Meaning Already Understood....Why You Stopped Writing......Again Make Your Hand Ready To Write Something In Routine......

Posted 6 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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752 Views
15 Reviews
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Added on November 26, 2017
Last Updated on January 14, 2018
Tags: Just US

Author

Red Rose
Red Rose

Kandy, Central Province, Sri Lanka



About
18 hyper and eccentric! (coz honestly normal is boring :P) Dream big and dream a lot. You don't always need a reason. Do it just because. #zquad ^-^ more..

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