After a beautiful girl named Rosyln falls for a immortal she gets more than what she bargained for. In a tempt to find out more about the Daavole family she. Finds out more about herself. Then forever
True feedback... Okay...
First... goodjob for putting your ideas to paper and sharing them.
Second... These chapters should be broken into paragraphs, especially when ever a new person speaks.
Third... Alot of grammer issues...I would suggest reading it aloud to another person. As many of the issues are in sentence continuity and sentence format... You should be able to catch most of it that way.
Fourth... Don't give up on it... Evolve your characters more, more description would be helpful and because it's vampires... You gotta make your vampire more interesting than everybody elses.
True feedback... Okay...
First... goodjob for putting your ideas to paper and sharing them.
Second... These chapters should be broken into paragraphs, especially when ever a new person speaks.
Third... Alot of grammer issues...I would suggest reading it aloud to another person. As many of the issues are in sentence continuity and sentence format... You should be able to catch most of it that way.
Fourth... Don't give up on it... Evolve your characters more, more description would be helpful and because it's vampires... You gotta make your vampire more interesting than everybody elses.
I just always loved writing so I decided to just write about my dreams and thoughts! My name is Shyann as you can tell. I enjoy fiction mystery and Romance. I will try to do as many books as my mind w.. more..