Empty vessel of gullibility
Adolescent driven curiosity Traveling the path of untouched caverns Digging up undiscovered emotions
Lit a way of hope
Guided by the longing
A ravishing creature alerts the senses
Sirens song serenading bait
Deceivers trap awaits the hungry Dipping lust into warmth
Snared into an invisible cage
and it feels right
A Trojan horse invasion smears the soul
Bounding strings apprehend the appendages
Whispers of intoxicating orders command you now Invading your consciousness
no longer you the legs are lead
gravity of its world
holds down your head
sat in a corner on borrowed time
jolted to life in time of need
so that it don't bleed
operating your pulleys
guiding your will
twisting your mind
pulling your strings then putting you out
a used cigarette
I don't care for this one, but I wanted to write something. It's kind of a mess. This is what goes through my mind when people blindly do something for someone when that person could care less for the well being of the other.
My Review
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I have to say, after reading a couple of your other pieces Shy Joe, that I think your so-called "mess" shows a real talent for constructing a poem in the first instance, incorporating metaphor and imagery without being sickly, getting your point across and also expressing the emotion behind your point. It grabs the reader's interest and keeps it. That makes a fine poet in my humble view. I like what you write, and would like to see more, so long as my attention span allows me to pop in here and actually READ. And no, I'm not adhd. I'm just old. OldER. ahem ...
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you HopeFloats for taking time to read some of my work and the reviews. You have no idea how .. read moreThank you HopeFloats for taking time to read some of my work and the reviews. You have no idea how much it means to me.
I have to say, after reading a couple of your other pieces Shy Joe, that I think your so-called "mess" shows a real talent for constructing a poem in the first instance, incorporating metaphor and imagery without being sickly, getting your point across and also expressing the emotion behind your point. It grabs the reader's interest and keeps it. That makes a fine poet in my humble view. I like what you write, and would like to see more, so long as my attention span allows me to pop in here and actually READ. And no, I'm not adhd. I'm just old. OldER. ahem ...
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you HopeFloats for taking time to read some of my work and the reviews. You have no idea how .. read moreThank you HopeFloats for taking time to read some of my work and the reviews. You have no idea how much it means to me.