Silence Speaks

We are limited in our ability
To comprehend the eternal scene
Yet still her silence speaks to us

The cold pastoral hand reaches out
and a forest of overwrought thoughts branches beyond

All that exists is the procession
And we conjecture the rest -
The altar, the art, the limitations

We all know of what we need is ahead of us -
The remains of beauty and truth
In midst of other woes and pain

And yet the silken skies
Marbles a river of regret in her eyes
And constructs a mountain of memory as an altar to her soul

Reviews

[Lisasview]

First read of your John and although I did enjoy the feeling of your poem I felt there were unnecessary words used here and there...for example and, and and and
Plus, no punctuation?
Such a shame because with punctuation the reader knows when to breath..
I would never want to offend you and I only am saying this because I believe this could be a very good poem with just a little work.
For example:
The cold pastoral hand reaches out
and a forest of overwrought thoughts branches beyond
might be cleaner to say
Cold pastoral hand reaches out;
a forest of overwrought thoughts branches beyond.
No need for the THE... or the AND...
You message would be clearer...

Lisasview, now in Spain

[John Fitzgerald]

Thanks for your review, Lisaview. However, you did already review this poem. I removed it as I didn’t find it personally constructive. I’m not a good or dedicated writer, I just occasionally enjoy posting. Thank you again though, really appreciate you taking the time to write to me. Peace and love

[Lisasview]

You removed it? So weird… I always accept all reviews … even if I do not always agree with the reviewer.
I will be sure never to review your work again
Liss

[John Fitzgerald]

Thanks for commenting again. I completely accept your comments, I just like to leave the positive only messages. That’s up to me. You don’t have to review anything again, I honestly don’t mind. Just being honest that I didn’t find it constructive, didn’t mean that to be an offensive comment

[Lisasview]

Good reviews are not always positive.
Perhaps helpful to the open minded.

[John Fitzgerald]

Good reviews are always a matter of opinion, but good luck to you and happy writing