Alyssa and Mae

Mae firmly shuts the door of her small grey car before turning around to meet her enemy, the house. Outside of her and maybe a few of her long lost friends it may look like any house in the neighborhood. A black roof and white walls, with alternating curtain colors based on the season. Carefully cut grass and short hedges mixed with a small patio lined on the edges with a stone fence. A yard reminiscent of even nicer neighborhoods in even better cities.

        The mix of the dark and light green with the black and white is objectively appealing but the thing most interesting to her are the bits of chalk drawing on the straight sidewalk leading to the door of the house. Memories of laying in the grass next to the clean sidewalk while her sisters drew on it flew back to her, leaving Mae in a bit of haze of memories as she struggled to move her body away from the car and towards the house.

        She broke herself from those thoughts and took a half step towards the white fence surrounding the property. In reality, it couldn't be that long, maybe fifteen feet at the most, especially when the grass was cut across so precisely in the middle. No, it was more the idea of the path that held her back, the vulnerability that had held her back every other time she had tried to come here. Mae wished she had the confidence of a kid on Halloween, one with a few years under their super hero belts still young enough to not be shy in their costumes or in their right to participate.

        Finally finishing her half step after a second of pausing she continued to move her body forward and upward until she realized that she was on the wood of the porch. Proud of her self that she made it this far while still terrified of the consequences of her actions that faced her inside the house.

        Luckily a dog could be heard barking in a room adjacent to what she knew to be the main hallway. The seemingly sudden barking scared her but also grounded her more in the present than the past. She could tell that the bark was originating from a big dog, that deep throbbing type of bark cannot come from a small dog, and even a medium sized dog would have issues making a sound like that. Ripping her from her thoughts of nothingness was a frantic and blatantly annoyed shout from the living room.

        Inside the house, Allissa was having a rough day and it was not being helped by the dog barking incessantly in her living room, probably at nothing. If her children hadn't decided to be problematic she could handle the dog they got without her permission. If the damn dog could just stay at their father's house where she belonged it would also be fine. But no the man who had a small apartment across town decided that in hindsight getting a large golden retriever was maybe not the best idea and left her to be the hero or the villain. And of course, she had to be the hero.

        "D****t Cathy" she yelled before murmuring to herself under her breath "ya d****t Cathy and d****t Richard why are you like this..."

        Her rambling was cut off as she strode into the living room to find Cathy not only barking but also getting her muddy feet all over the carpet and couch. Now she was used to messy, having two younger siblings and three kids had prepared her for that but dogs are just so big and so much. She sighed forcefully in resignation and pried Cathy off the couch when the large animal promptly started towards the door as if trying to get something on the other side.

        Deciding to at least check if she was going to be murdered Allissa opened the front door. Opening it with the dog behind her legs proved a bit difficult but she had had years of dealing with tiny toddler hands so the large body of a golden retriever was almost nothing.

        Mae's eyes widened as her sister opened the door her brain and subsequently, her mouth froze in shock of seeing her sister for the first time in so long. Even in her shocked state, she could tell that her sister was surprised as well.

        "Hey sis hows life?" Really, that was the first thing Mae could think to say to her sister that she hadn't seen for almost five years,

        " Hey sis hows life?" god she was supposed to be the eloquent one. And now there she was looking scandalous standing on her sister's porch ashamed of herself for several reasons.

        "Mae?" Allissa finally answered while looking incredulously at her younger sister in front of her.

        She had several questions, a near endless list of them but for now, she had to focus on bringing her sister inside and then shoving her back outside into the minivan in the garage so she could pick up her kids. Quickly forming a plan in her head she put it into action.

        "Come inside, and stop looking so scared I don't bite and neither does Cathy." They stand in the entrance for a minute in silence unable to move backward or forward without the movement of the other. Allissa decides she is ready to stop wasting time with her sister and begins to talk while walking toward the kitchen.

        "I assume you want to talk, can we do it in the car? The kids decided to be little s***s today and I need to take care of it is that okay?" The sudden questions caught Mae off guard while simultaneously making her feel slightly better, petting Cathy's head as they moved forward also helped.

        Mae barely had any time to see where Alissa was leading her before she was shoved into the front seat of a bright blue minivan.

        "So it's been a few years hasn't it?" Alyssa spoke into the tension that is the space between the two sisters and their seats.

This allowed for the flood gates of speech to erupt in Mae’s mind flushing both of them down with its rush.   

        "Yeah sorry I have been meaning to get in touch but it has been hard with college and moving around and everything," she almost mentioned the reason that was named Richard but kept it down and switched to a different topic.

        “But I got a job here so I can visit more often if you want, but of course if you don’t want that I don’t have to," another bad topic.

        “I can’t wait to see your kids I bet they are cute like you were when we were little uh"

Mae is about to change topics again but before she can she is cut off by Alyssa and her damn concise sentences. She can calm down her sister without looking from the road in front of her even after years.

        “I understand okay? I know that you had reasons for not coming back and we can move on if can trust each other can we do that?"

        "Yes," Mae replied meekly calming down and sinking into the seat underneath her.

        "Good, now let's go bail out your nieces and nephew." Smiling as she turned up the radio and kept driving. Singing quietly and pretending not to notice the stress and happiness tears pouring like a quiet brook out of her sister's eyes. They had a lot of work to do and would have time to do it, now is not that time.

        They are pulled up and parked in front of the first school before Mae realizes and has no time to think before she is being left alone again. The air conditioning in the car on full blast, the fans blowing probably not as hard as they should be according to the dial. She questions it for a moment but is distracted by the middle console in the front which seems to be the only clean part in an otherwise mess filled car. The clean black cup holders matching the slightly dusty gray plastic with musty grey fabric. Looking into the back seat she can see two car seats with another empty space in between accompanied sprinklings of crumbs and stains that suggest another child.

        She knew Alyssa said nieces and nephew which implies at least three children but she didn't realize what that meant at first. It wasn't that she hated kids in fact she loved them and she had been used to them, growing up in a large family had taught her that. But then poof that large family was gone and for 5 years she had no babies to play with. Now she has three and it made her smile before it turned into a grimace, if she didn't mess it up this time.

        But before she can ponder herself into too much of a mess Alyssa is back and this time with two children. A small girl she vividly remembers as a baby, this time with short brown hair and adorable corduroy overalls. Walking quietly and nicely holding her mother's hand while looking determinedly at the cracks in the road. The other child whose hand she is holding is a baby she barely even met he is also adorable with brown curls and even smaller overalls that rival his sisters in cuteness. Unlike her he seems adamant in doing the opposite of what his mother wants, mainly by stepping on every leaf in her impossibly long and yet impossibly short grasp.

        Alyssa cannot believe that her children got in trouble because of that evil little six year old, neither of her babies were menaces and Jack couldn't hurt a fly. And if Addie did anything it would be to protect her siblings and she would probably get away with it. The whole situation was stupid and she still needed to get her smallest babe and deal with the big baby that was sitting in her car. But she knew it would be okay, she had Addie in one hand and Jack in the other and her baby sister was in the car, it was all going to be alright. Sooner or later.

            The sun is barely in the sky by the time the sisters were done and her kids have to go to Richards. Mae is gone with a phone number and a promise, to not be so scared to visit. That doesn't mean that either of the women are comfortable with each other yet, that will take a while. Too many years of not talking to be fixed in an afternoon. Too many years lost to be squandered by trivialities.

        Addie is sitting still if not for her feet dangling over the edge of her seat swaying gently to the beat of the song on the radio. Jack is asleep in his car seat, crumbs as evidence of an earlier snack are balanced on his shirt and lap. In her mental checklist she added dusting him off before he left her. Maybe after she hugged him so he wouldn't get too overwhelmed by contact. Penny is also asleep but she won't be going with her father so she doesn't need to be cleaned up yet. Bath time is for when they get home, it will be a bubble night Alyssa says to herself while glancing from her children in the mirror back to the road slightly dark but lit up by her car and the street lights.

        When Richard left he moved as far across town away from her he could get while still forcing her to drive to drop and pick up the kids. They still went to school by their home so he dropped them off in the morning on Mondays. Otherwise Alyssa’s minivan was still designated as the “family” car.

        The bright blue minivan was not an uncommon sight in the his apartment complex. It and its passengers swooped in and out efficiently. Well as efficient as one can be while dealing with three children. It helps when they are asleep even, when you have to wake them up to give them a goodbye kiss they are still cute and drowsy. Tonight the adults barely even exchange words before the Addie and Jack are exchanged. Penny gets a quick kiss from Richard while the older ones are kissed by their mother.

        “Mama can we tell Daddy about seeing Aunt Mae or no?” Addie asks after her mom leans down to say good bye.

        “ Maybe not tonight hon okay?” she hates having to tell her kids not to say things to their father but even Addie knows how her father feels about their family.

        “Okay mama goodnight”

        “Love you baby”

        “Love you” Alyssa gives her daughter and son one more kiss each before moving away from them towards her car. It's still on since she has to leave anyway and she makes sure Penny is all buckled up and comfy before shutting the door and turning away. She faces Richard who is walking up the stairs with Jack in his arms and Addie latched onto his hand. It looks like she is telling him about their day and how they got in trouble with Ms. Cathy. A teacher Addie loved so much she named her dog after her.

        Richard seems to be reacting normally so Alyssa turns back and walks around to her side of the door. Smoothly sliding in and pushing away from the complex and driving into the night. It's Friday and her babies are safe or at least mostly, she's got one in her car and all of them in her mind. She stares ahead into the night and into her future, silent as the sky.