Blue kitchen coffee

I see sadness
Where others might see productivity
Getting up early
Alone
Even with someone laying next to you
Sliding out from underneath your covers
Barely combing your fingers through your rough hair
Knowing your teeth still yellowed from yesterday
Because you forgot to brush your teeth before bed
Turn on the coffee pot that seems much louder when you’re the only one awake
Make your cup of coffee
In your green mug that’s faded away all the symbols it’s once showed
And sit downstairs in silence
As quiet as a monk vowing it, almost.
It’s cold,
Even with a thick sweater on and hot coffee in your hand
The light in the room feels blue
Even with sunshine just breaking the curtains
It’s dark
And alone
A coldness you can never recover from
Especially when it’s Sunday morning
And a pin drops
And you hear it
Wishing that someday maybe you could be the one still in bed
And you can feel your lover slip out from the covers
And you can hear cups clanking against each other in the kitchen
And the loud coffee pot
You hear it all from the next room
Where you peacefully lay
Warm
Snuggled now between their pillow and yours
Their side of the bed is warmer
Wrapped in a deep comforting feeling
Then they come and lay back down
And wrap their arms around you
Not even letting out single sound
Embraced in every moment since you’ve felt then roll out of the warmth
And you know since it’s Sunday you don’t have to get up yet
You don’t have anywhere to be
You can just enjoy it
It’s silent
But the air feels so full of sounds
Even tonight there is Nothing but the quiet hum of the radiator
And the sun peeks through the sheer curtains
Letting in the light
Not just into the room this time
But on to you
And the bed illuminates with every ray.
Sunshine radiates off of every object not nailed to the floor
And you just lay there
Not having to do anything
But be wrapped in their arms
And that’s ok, not every day needs to be planned and charted out.
Quietly fall back into your vague sense of sleep you had 15 minutes ago
And you feel loved
And you remember all those times you had to be the first awake,
When it felt cold and lonely in that blue kitchen.
And now it’s yellow and sunny in the bedroom
Why should you always have to be the lover that slips out of bed?
To let them feel love you crave?
You deserve it too.
Sleep in a little longer tomorrow.
You deserve love.