Maybe it's better to be blind

You never know this feeling until It Happens to you. You never know how I feels to be laying down with someone without thinking about a goddamned thing. Without worrying about making the other person happy, because you know they are. You only have to focus on being happy for yourself. Actions always speak louder than words. That's the difference between Devin and Alex. Devin always told me he loved me and we were going to be together. Alex doesn't have to tell me, because I know from the way he looks at me. I never realized how s****y Devin was treating me until I found something way better. I always thought I was happy with him because I didn't know any other feeling, that was a normal happy relationship, well no it wasn't. I was completely oblivious to the fact that he treated me terribly and only cared about himself. But I have changed. I don't over react, I don't yell, I don't argue. There's a different type of feelings I have now. I know how to love and be loved. I know that the little things matter and realizing them makes me happier everyday. I realize that I'm happy when I look over at him and just see the way he's breathing and I can see his smile even if nothing was funny, but that's just because he's happy we're together, Or maybe while I'm sitting in the backseat of his car and I look up and he's staring at me through the rear view mirror and he just looks away and smirks. That's because he's happy too. When he makes fun of me for being so small and tells me how cute my hands are. Or his breathing while we have sex and how I can actually feel passion through it. And when he opens up to me and tells me his problems, he Tells me even if he's sad I make him happy. That's when I realized he's not like devin, he is capable of loving and holding on to something he wants. He won't give up at the first sight of a problem. He never was that type. I love the way we talk about the weather and the stars and politics and stupid shark week instead of fighting. We have nothing to fight about. Maybe I'm taking a shot at this too early, but if things stay this way, what could go wrong? I am walking into this blind. I am absolutely blind to whatever this emotion is. Because I've never been treated this way.