The boy with no soul

I love the way his ears are too big for his face, but fit him perfectly. How you can't notice his crooked jawline unless you look really hard. It's like it all forms this perfect puzzle piece and makes me feel like I have my own life together, even though I don't. But just for a split second he makes me believe it. It's comforting, really, and I like it. I can't seem to ever think of anything else when he's around. I try to not think about him because of how sad he makes me feel but yet so happy at the same time. When I became his friend I didn't sign up for all these extra feelings. I wish they would just go away.
His girlfriend is beautiful. What if her and I were in her shoes for a day? How different would my life be?
I wonder if I would be happy.
I wonder if he would be happy.
Although it makes me sad, his happiness is the one of the most important things to me.
I hope he loves her.
We disagree on a lot and I can't stand it. He doesn't get that jokes hurt and my feelings are valid ones. I always try to Understand others. Why can't he just do the same?