am i still carebear?

almost 4 years ago i can remember sitting on your bed across from you. everyone calling me "mrs.carrier" and making fun of us,its a flashback while someone calls me "mrs.sousa", now thats my plans, im growing up. but i still cant help but think of 4 years ago and that christmas party. we made plans to take over the world together. the more i think the more i call you the one that got away. yet every five minutes "uncle jeff" was checking on us. that was the best night of my life. your bedroom during the winter christmas party. little kids running in and out, yet our conversation was uninteruppted, i dont remember anything but taking in your blue eyes and the way you spoke, every word seemed to linger while you stared, almost like a perfect puzzle was made. we were young and stupid, but thats all we needed to know back then. i remember when we broke your bed. we were innocent though,i promise. kyle and danyelle wont ever let us live that down, even now after all these years, and i hope you remember that just as much as i do. i feel weird for rememberign every detail of you so vividly, but i have to say first love never goes away. and i never knew what anyone meant by that until i started writing this. i mean remember the first time i met you and you kicked over my snowman, i do. you tourmented me for a good week. then you told me i was pretty and i was a carebear. that name stuck apparently, like that 2am message " hey carebear" a year later, do you still think about me too? but whats the kicker is no one knewhow close we were, you told me you loved me and i believed it, it wasnt like one of those weird little kid i loves you that you think about, looking back it seems so genuine, maybe you meant it then. but now im mrs.sousa and youve probably said it a thousand times to others, and i just want you to know im totally okay with that. yooure alway gonna be my carebear though. theresno way out of that.