More than a bestfriend

Losing a game is sometimes pretty bad right ? If it's the last game you'll ever play it's worse. If it's the last time you'll ever see your teammates you'll cry , correct ? But what happens when you lose the last game and your teammates hate you .
Losing my bestfriend was almost worse than anything I ever imagined. I mean ine day suddenly we can't be friends. Not a valid reason for it , except that we can't.
It's almost like saying you can't talk to your brother anymore. Could you imagine tha pain ? But it's like having a special bond with your brother and talking everyday about problems and making jokes about concerts you can't go see. Him making jokes about the guys you like and telling you what's a good or bad idea.
Now I can't help but think maybe I should've listened. Maybe it would be different , maybe he wouldn't hate me.
Maybe I wouldn't hate myself for driving away more than a bestfriend.