He Said, She Said

A short script I wrote for a short film about awkward love.

1.  SUBURBAN KITCHEN �" DAYTIME

WIDE:  Two individuals, a man and a woman, both young adults, sit on opposite sides of a two person table, albeit neither are looking at each other; not even directly.  Both are looking down at their own cup of coffee and snack.  Both have apathetic looks upon the faces; both appear as though they wish they were somewhere else.

MEDUIM:  The man sighs slightly, lifts up his cup of coffee, and takes a sip.  The look of apathy is still on his face.

MEDIUM:  The woman fiddles with her cup of coffee, without picking it up.  The look of apathy is still on her face.

CLOSE UP:  The man opens his mouth and prepares to speak, all the while still looking at his coffee and away from the woman.
(The following bit of conversation is to occur as a serious of oscillating close ups of the sides of each other’s faces, switching from one person’s face to the other for each line they deliver.  Neither of them is to look at each other at any point during the conversation.)

                THE MAN 
I know what you did.

                THE WOMAN 
I don’t care.

                THE MAN 
I figured you wouldn’t.

                THE WOMAN 
You figured correct, then.

                THE MAN 
It seems I have.

                THE WOMAN 
It seems you have indeed.

WIDE:  There is a long silence.  Neither one of them is looking at the other still; their eyes remain fixed on their own cup of coffee.   This shot remains for several long moments.

CLOSE UP:  The man takes a sip of coffee.  Then, he lifts his head up and, for the first time, looks at the woman.  There is still apathy in his face, but there is also growing sorrow in it as well.

                THE MAN
I love you.  I love you deeply.

CLOSE UP:  The woman, who clearly hears this, seemingly blows it off.  She makes no gesture, vocal or physical, towards the man.  She simply sits there, with the same expression upon her face, as she prepares to speak.

                THE WOMAN
I don’t care.

                THE MAN
(unsurprised)
I figured you wouldn’t.

 

 

END

Author's Note

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SFHegpPMBo
^ The filmed version of this script.

Thoughts? (on either?)

Reviews

[Frantzuu]

As a screen writer myself, I thought that it was good but could use some work. The dialogue could've been better, it's clear that she did something and that something could've been anything.

Always capitalize your characters when they're introduced for the first time.
Two adults, a MAN and a WOMAN sit on opposite sides of a two person table.

Keep up the good work :)