Paled by Sunday Sun

I thought I missed you.

The mobile eccentricities,

those slender artist's hands 

a dry-brush to cheapen my face 

with discount acrylic 

lugubriosity

... I made my bed...

with layered velvet sheets of midnight

stained in the ghosts of 

former lovers- dried up wishes.

You're raven's caw-

Defiled the moonlight vista

the swathe of dusty bee-sting words

spilling from lips wet with infamy,

how I mesmerized each crack and tinge

Paled by a thousand Sunday suns and

brittled like corn shucks 

on a hollow afternoon. 

the grafitti on my bones is a constant ghost

dripping mad cursive from your song

my shadow dismal enough to turn a tide-

in this moment pregnant with punishment

and stillborn sighs

I looked through that veil of star dust in your gaze

I looked until the brush of time

would paint the face of demons

to mark this day

 

The next time I saw you,

I drown

swallowed by the white undertow

of your crisp and techno fallacies

In still life moments such as these,

we'd lose ourselves. 

Comical- those days we were so young.

Brazen corn flower skies would smile

as we talked Bowie and argued Sartre-

washing it all down with

sunshine-tinctured shards of mosaic.

In those days, I knew little

and passioned your touch

In those days, I swam-

in oceans vibrant with lucidity

while you showered in alkali dust

and sang from that black hole of a

heart. 

In those days, I never knew;

my passions' a world apart. 

Reviews

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

ok I just babbled a whole bunch of stuff and deleted it
instead I will say
the first and last lines are a perfect electrical circuit
I tried in vain to explain why they were in said deleted babble
it was chock full of bad analogies and contrived
attempts at nothing fruitful
THIS poem, however, is engorged with perfection
I'm pretty sure I could never write a poem
and stay this focused while writing about an ex
"sunshine-tinctured shards of mosaic"
if the last line is a quotation
then it's an irony that i do not quite fathom

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

I think everyone should listen to this in Joan Baes's "Baptism" voice

[Kristallo]

I just tried that John, and you are so right! I had almost forgot how much I adored Joan's voice... and i'm quite sure that you could write anything of equal or greater value on the subject of lost love if the mood was right. Stay sane, dear poet. :)

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

nah I doubt I could, but it's not a contest..I do what I do well enough and you obviously excel at what you do..viva la joan
:)
you stay sane too, well as sane as you need to be..don't be too sane, and I'll promise the same

[Kelly Scheppers]

I find the titles of poems alluring, for they snare the attention of a wandering eye. I was in awe of this from your opening of "mobile eccentricities"...and was held spellbound by "the swathe of dusty bee-sting words." You've given me much to highlight here, for metaphors of this caliber are few and far between.

My library is growing in leaps and bounds today...thank you!


My best,
Kelly

[Souladareatease]

some of my favorite memories are with sunshine tiles:)
A varied emotional painting You brush with this stroke of genius!!!
I loved the play on words...very tongue in cheek with that wisp of sarcasm right below the surface, sounds and seems a very telling of the coming of age...to realize differences...or polar opposites of someone You once had deep feelings for is a shocking revelation...it truly rocks You to Your core...stays always engrained as life lessons eh?
Most wonderful brush You paint With Kris!!!

[Kristallo]

That's an apt description... and thank you so much! You are too gracious. :)

[Jack...]

I am captivated by your words, enchanted by your ideas and amazed at the temperment of this piece. The flow is exquisite, in my opinion. I could feel the desire and the pain that comes with learning one's self. Very beautiful.

[Kristallo]

You are so kind. Thank you for a wonderful review, i'm humbled and genuinely moved that you felt so positive about it. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"i knew little and passioned much"

sounds like me in the sixties....

but i did learn from life...and here i am.

i have thought i missed certain people...but the reality set in...i do in a sense...but like where i am becuase of moving on..or being moved on from.

this poem has startling imagery..

nice work..

jacob

[Kristallo]

Yes, the poem could be wholly summed up in that line... I don't like to go back to read this one, nostalgia is haunting, but I remember that moment of self awareness where I realized that throughout our journey in life, we never stop growing up. Blame or guilt is irrelevant when you realize how necessary it was in the learning experience, but I do miss that sense of childish, romantic idealism. It fades fast over the years... glad you enjoyed this, and thank you for reviewing. :)

[Michael G. Smith]

I feel violated by smokin' sultry abuse!! Your lines which linger into verse are crawling upon me as would breath stealing words. In one simple word "Enthralled".

[Alisa Js]

Aloha,

What an exquisite testament to the power of love and passion.

Incredible.

alisa ;-)

[Kristallo]

Thank you so kindly, Alisa! I genuinely appreciate that. :)

[h d e rushin]

"how I mesmerized each crack and tinge
paled by a thousand Sunday suns and
brittle like corn shucks
on a hollow afternoon"

When, in the process of reviewing, one disects a poem like a frog on a slab,
taking away only the parts the reviewer wishes to keep, it doe's a terrible
disjustice to the spirit of the text. But I wanted to snatch these few lines
just to show your complete control of the moment. 'I would loose myself
in pregnant moments such as these'.

Good write and thanks for sharing this with us.....dana
(out of context)

[Tate Morgan]

OOh that read like beautiful paintimng leaving me saying wow!

[Julian.Norton]

This is amazing, and humbling. I know I cant compare to this. It not only shows me that I dont know nothing about writing poetry, but inspires me to learn more, if I could reach this level of Intellectuality then I will know I have done something with my life.'