A dying little leaf..

Guess, having a problem with your closest friend is even worse than love itself

Like a falling little leaf 

Floating in the air, then reaching the ground Dying slowly & silently.. 

The green color of it life starts fainting and becoming pale little by little 

Even when I feel like I am prepared for anything 

Even when I say that I am used to it 

My chest is hurting.. 

will it stop already? 

I wonder if the day you walk by my side & ignore that trembling shadow of me, will come soon.. 

The day I act to be strong again.. 

Yeah, it's a very familiar scene for me 

But, I wonder why I don't want you to be the one on it "Tears fall" 

Do they make me feel any better anyways? 

I am not able to hold them back.. how stupid and miserable ! 

Guess, the fault was and still always mine.. 

Hmmm, maybe I am just blaming myself, and maybe not.. 

They say I am a great person, then they leave What's the point of it? 

I truly I'm confused about it 

Why am I always like this? 

Should I stop talking forever? 

Stop dragging my heart into new relationships? 

Go deaf or blind? 

Just like that little agonized leaf.. 

I wonder why I can't move, why I'm losing my breath as always.. (nothing changed)

Am I really good enough? 

Why do I feel torn.. can't focus.. 

"Heart aching" 

What am I even doing right now? 

Guess, I am still that bad, cuz.. 

I think I am strong enough to surpass it 

Sometimes, this one thing makes me feel like I don't deserve being by anybody's side

It's better for me to live alone, it's more peaceful.. I guess..

So just like thay dying little leaf.. 

That the wind will take away without leaving any mark of it on the ground.. 

I wonder if the trace she left on that big tree will bloom with it soul.. 

Again.. One day..