The Turkish Connection

A political satire. All about the maintenance of status quo while mud is slung.

The following story had been told to me by two of my Turkish friends while I was studying in UK. There were a large number of Turkish students studying in the University of Aston in Birmingham. We used to call them Hojam since they also called us Hojam. While narrating the story they gave me the political background of Turkey, the reason of which they said would be apparent once I hear the story.

Turkey had a Conservative Government. Apparently people were not very happy. There were a large number of Leftist Sympathizers who were in the hiding. The Government slowly liberalized the political atmosphere. The Leftists came out and gave fiery speeches. Soon the country was in turmoil. The Military took over. The identified Leftist were arrested (my friend said that only then they understood why the Government liberalized the political atmosphere �" to identify them). After several months Elections were held and the Conservative Party held power again.

There was a famous Turkish Poet. It was he who came out with this story, which was printed in the Newspapers. It was all about a Rais (Rich and Noble) person who owned vast amount of land and property and had several slaves.

One day that Rais started for the Bazaar in the morning in his shiny Coach along with his slave. The Rais was full of Sadistic mischief. He was going for the Bazaar to gamble, make merry and almost drown himself in wine. Halfway through, he spotted something and asked the coachman to stop. He told his slave, “Listen, do you see that horse dung there? If you can eat half of it, I will give this Coach to you after I get back.” The slave saw the horse dung and thought why not. He will have some asset at last. So, he got down and ate it. The Rais enjoyed this very much and laughed his heart out.

When they reached the Bazaar, the Rais started gambling and soon lost all his money. He was very sore. This had never happened. So, right in the middle of the day he wanted to return home. He was also worried. He has finished all his cash. And the Coach also belonged to his slave. Instead of enjoying the laughter, he himself would be the laughing stock. What will people say?

The slave was also thinking. “What would I do with this coach? I am but a slave. Everybody will mock at me. I can’t even feed the horses!” Suddenly, he asked the Rais, “Sir, I have a proposition. If you can eat the other half of the horse dung. I will return this coach back to you.”

The Raid thought about it and decided that since no one was watching him do it, he would eat the other half. He got down from the Coach and ate the other half. So, they all were happy. At this moment, the slave asked him, “Sir, can you please explain this to me? In the morning this coach belonged to you and now it belongs to you. Then why did we have to eat all the muck?”

Readers can make their own conclusion regarding the story. The writer of the story, the Turkish Poet was arrested and put behind the bar. I have mentioned this story to hundreds of people. In fact I have seen a different version of this story in the papers even. But as I was told by Hojam about 50 years ago, this is the original. I sometimes wonder where the Hojam has gone to. I also think about the Poet/Writer. If anyone can identify him and/or locate him, I will very much appreciate if I am contacted.