Young Love and Ants

A strange story about isolation and love.

Everyone gets singled out at one stage or another. You get excluded and your every flaw pointed out and shoved in your face. Everyone joins in on the “fun” and laughs at you. They just think it’s a tease and that you’ll get over it, but they don’t realize the damage that’s being done. They make you feel small, insignificant.
As though you don’t matter. 
You’re screaming on the inside, begging for help. But you never tell a soul what you really feel because your emotions and thoughts are the only things you have left. They are the only things people can’t take… or so you hope. 

You miss out on little jokes and silly playground games. Everyone avoids you, like you have some kind of disease. Children can be so cruel to those who are different. You get judged so quickly…
Such is the case of poor little Lila Daniels. She wasn’t strong enough to defend herself, so she just kept her feelings to herself, furthermore very told anyone.
She was once so bright, living in a world of ignorant bliss, with her deep blue eyes and moonlight coloured hair, she was once so bright... Holding her precious glass tank of her favoured ant farm clutched to her chest. She had a wonderful childhood.

Until that first year of school… she was immediately labelled a “freak”. Apparently too strange to play with; anyone who talked to the freak was made to feel an outcast. So she was avoided. 
No friends… no one but her cherished glass tank in her arms, spending the isolation on the edge of the playground, watching her insect friends as they expanded their home in the dirt. Of course this only furthered the teasing. 

She never said anything, not a peep, and remained in silent solitude.  Lila simply learned to take it all, spending the school days quietly crying. She learnt not to care. Hiding her emotions so deep within herself that they could no longer be felt. Her heart was frozen, no longer beating.
Life continued this way for quite some time. Until one year; she was only 10 years of age.

A group of children engaged in their daily taunting... Surrounding her one lunch break while she was talking to her ants on the outskirts of the play yard where she was exiled.  They stood above her, looking down on her small figure as if she too was an ant. They loomed over her, looking like shadows, shrouding her in darkness. They looked like merciless monsters in her eyes, although they were merely children, no bigger than her. She sat with her tank to her chest and her knees huddled up to her face, head downcast, looking at the ants.

They couldn’t hurt her. The words that came out of their mouths were meaningless… They just kept kicking her legs and pushing her head around for some kind of response. She was hollow and empty.
But then… something changed. Lila saw a light breaking through the shadows… a voice was heard. 
“Hey, guys! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it, that’s mean! Come on, guys, leave her alone!” cheered the voice. It was a young boy.
He broke through the circle and kept yelling at them to stop. The children halted their teasing and turned around. They gave up on Lila and as they walked by the boy they knocked against his shoulder and murmured, “She was no fun anyway...”

The young lad kneed down and offered his hand. He had the widest grin she’d ever seen; it made her want to giggle. He had messy, mousey brown hair and bright hazel eyes to match.
Lila hesitantly placed her hand in his, and as they touched, she felt a tingling in her skin. He gently helped her up and then quickly let go of her hand and said, “You shouldn’t let them push you around like that!”
And with those final words, he ran off to join the other children on the playing field.

She could tell he was new; his brand new uniform, still perfectly clean, and his shiny shoes, hardly worn in. And he had just talked to Lila… when everyone knew not to dare trying something like that… let alone stand up for her. He was the only exception. 
He sparked something in Lila’s heart. An emotion that was odd and unfamiliar. But…
He’ll forget me soon. He’ll blend in with the shadows. His light snuffed out, Lila thought to herself.
But she couldn’t help but feel something for this strange boy. 
Her heart began to flutter at the thought of him. Gripping her ant farm in her arms closely to her chest, she felt her heart almost beat out of her skin.
It’s love.

 

Little Miss Daniels couldn’t help but want to know more of her newfound light. 
It began with his name, Jay. Her feelings and desires grew stronger with every passing day, with every word spoken of him. The two never really met face to face again, let alone spoke. Just to watch him was enough for her at first. To see his light… his heart… Shine. No one could stop his radiance.

For the rest of the year, she watched him from the corner of the room. Edging closer just a little every day. Sometimes she would sit around the corner from him and occasionally peek at the boy as she listened to his conversations. Although she wasn’t interested in what he said, just his delightful voice.
The teasing never stopped. But Lila lived through it, trying to keep a small smile for him.
Yes. She was feeling again with every heartbeat. 

You would think a 10-year-old girl would know nothing of love, innocent and naïve, they mustn’t have a clue. But Lila knew what she was feeling. Or perhaps she was mistaken.
 Innocent and naive.

She could no longer resist. By the end of the school year, it was no longer satisfactory to just watch him. Her heart’s longing became hard to bare. With newfound courage that had slowly built up over the year, Lila decided to speak to him.
But what about… What do I say…?

So many questions ran through the young girls head.
Just do it.
Her chosen time to speak with him was in the afternoon while he was walking home. He always enjoyed stopping at a small pond to watch the ducks and geese play. She knew this after quietly following him on many occasions. That was to be the place. That was to be the time.



No one was around. It was quiet apart from the quacks and honks of the birds and the heavy nervous breathing of Lila. Jay stood facing the birds, his hands hanging loosely off the edges of his pockets. 
Facing away from Lila, the sun shone onto him, so from behind him you could see a faint orange glow around his figure. He looked perfect.
Lila’s excitement was hard for her to contain as she stood across the road, clutching the ant farm, wearing the brightest smile on her face. She waited for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she started walking across the road.
With every step Lila felt more thrilled and nervously sick. Her feet patted lightly on the ground, hardly making a sound. As she grew closer to Jay, she began to have second thoughts, slowing her pace and her smile slightly fading. But these thoughts were quickly erased from her mind.

She stopped only a meter away from him. With one she reached out to tap his shoulder. She was welling up with anticipation. She leaned forward a little; rising up on to her toes, with her fingers tips only a centimetre away from him.
Unexpectedly, Jay took a step forward and Lila lost her balance crashing into his back and the glass tank slipping out of Lila’s grip.
Lila fell to the ground weeping over the pile of dirt and glass and scrambling ants. Jay turned around to this scene of disarray and the poor boy didn’t know what to do. 
Lila covered her face so her love wouldn’t see her tears. Jay kneeled down to comfort poor little Lila, when he saw a sudden movement in the corner of his eye. The ants were beginning to swarm and became agitated.
For you see, the ants were enraged that their life’s work was destroyed and so, their immediate thought was… 
Attack.
Oh, but only if they had have listened. Listened to Lila’s screaming voice through her tears saying, “NO!”
The ants surged towards Jay in blind fury, climbing onto the boy’s legs and biting, as they started to crawl further up. Panicked, Jay began to dust them off, squishing them, but this angered the ants further.
Lila watched in shock as the ants attacked her love and as he ran away, scared and screaming.

For a moment Lila sat there, her jaw dropped, her eyes streaming with tears. She felt her heart burst and break in two. Everything inside her exploded and burnt into ashes. That’s the moment all her feeling left her body…
Everything.
She became cold and numb.  She felt dead. Her one chance… What she thought was her one chance… Gone.
All expression left her face, the lights dulled in her eyes and the world washed over with grey. She stood up, her legs shaking and arms dangling limply.
She started walking, trudging through the grass.
But she couldn’t feel them. She couldn’t feel the ants as their legs itched their way up her body, through her clothes. Slowly making their way into Lila through her skin. Taking over her body, killing what was left of her.



The last time Lila was seen was walking along the streets, dragging her feet. The ants could be seen crawling under skin and moving in her mouth and tangling in her hair, a few falling onto the ground. Her lungs began to fill with ants, and when she coughed, dead ants flew out of her mouth.
As she walked with her shaking hands, she pulled her bag around and pulled out a pen and ripped out a piece of paper. Using all her strength, she began to write something. A letter… to her once light in the darkness.
She poured her soul (at least what was left) onto that paper. She was struggling to breathe, her eyes were clouding.
When the last letter, the last line was drawn, she dropped the pen and her bag and looked relieved from off loading it. Seeing her final destination, she slightly quickened her pace. She staggered as she walked faster and faster when she reached for the front door.
She forced her fist to bang onto the door and then she flopped back and stood waiting. By the time the door was opened, Lila was almost gone.
Jay opened the door. When he realized it was Lila, he looked slightly shocked, then smiled, and started scratching the back of his head.
“Look, I’m really sorry for running away like that and-”
He stopped and lowered his arm.

Lila raised her arm and held the letter in front of him. Jay looked at her hand, but as he was about to take the letter, he noticed something moving through the skin. He went to scream, but calmed himself. He looked to Lila’s face. She was blank.
Jay finally took the note and as he did, Lila started to cry. But where salty tears were meant to form, blood red ants replaced them. Crawling down her face as if they were her tears.
At that moment, Lila’s heart finally stopped. There was one last crooked smile that formed on the edge of her lip, but quickly vanished with the rest of her.
The last of her had left. 
Her skin lost colour and became slightly translucent, and she created a cold atmosphere around her. Her body was still animated by the insects and her body was taken away.
All that was left of Lila was that note. It expressed everything she felt in such simple words.

“I love you, and I’m sorry for that.”

Author's Note

Give any and all suggestions for improvement!!
Its an old and was written last year.