The Day Of The Election Results

Given that Iam an Indian , It is natural that I come preloaded with political thoughts and ideas . So here Iam , with my first political poem , to give a whiff of the politics in India !!!!!

THE DAY OF THE ELECTION RESULTS
Chants here , Chants there ,
Tension fraying everywhere ,
Party flags amidst the crowd ,
It could happen any minute now ,
Anxious politicians , nervous supporters ,
Bombarding the Almighty with their prayers ,
Every soul so desperate for victory ,
That every passing second seems to be a misery ,
Future ahead of them uncertain ,
On whose campaign will they draw the curtain ?? ,
Lies ahead mounts of responsibility ,
And bright prospects of a better ministry ,
After all , the 16th Lok Sabha elections ,
will go down in the anals of history !!!
EJAY

Author's Note

Please read and leave behind honest comments !!!!

Reviews

[Red3Bravo]

I like it, but it needs some polish. I think your biggest issue is rhythm. I think you need to lose a syllable in your fourth line, like changing "it could" to "it'll".Lines five and six have some nice imagery, but I would rework them so that they are more closely matched. Line eight needs to be cut down. Drop "that" and "passing", turn "seems to be" to "is". Line 11, do you mean "mounds" instead of "mounts"? Line twelve is syllable heavy again, perhaps "and hope for" instead of "bright prospects of". Final note, the word is annals, not anals. I hope you don't feel like i've picked you apart too much. It's tough to work with rigid forms, which is why I generally prefer free verse. That's another route you might take, and then you could explore the scene you have set so well in even greater depth. I do like what you have here, though.

[Blue]

Same fever here in my country and politicians are getting desperate, ugh. I detest elections and all the madness that goes with it.

What truly stands out in your poem is the last two lines which had me smiling. :) Btw, I don't think there is a need to put double or triple punctuation marks as they make the poem look informal/casual? And the comma after the question mark is also unnecessary.

Uhm, I haven't reviewed someone's poem for a long time now so I have quite forgotten how to do it. But hey, I tried. :) xoxo

[Coyote Poetry]

Elections. Should be a day to separate.
"After all , the 16th Lok Sabha elections ,
will go down in the anals of history !!! "
I liked the energy and the drive of the words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[mike mcgrath]

personally loved it and would personally quote from it myself