BONUS NUMBER #2 : In Your Thoughts

The stinging nature of heart to keep remembering about people it should not!

In Your Thoughts

 

It’s raining, raining

Oh Baby! It’s raining,

You made it rain, don’t you lie,

You knew I wanted to go out, so why?

 

It’s sunny, sunny

Oh Baby! It’s sunny

You made the sun’s heat scorching

You knew I wanted to do sightseeing.

 

It’s cold winter

Oh baby! It’s just too cold

You made the snow fall

Just when I had gardening call.

 

Yes you are responsible, doubtlessly

Your hate, your jealousy, needlessly

I hope you hate, hate

At least I could be in your thoughts!

Author's Note

I impersonate a relative of mine, who is not with her lover any more. She keeps suspecting him for everything imaginable in this world. The hidden reason being that she expects he is still thinking about her.

I hope I did justice to female emotions and way of expression.

Speak your heart out.

Reviews

[unsavable_soul]

Fantastic,
Simple in wording but grasps through a diverse repetition the many ways he was influencing her, whether it be real or imagined. It also left me to ponder if she were still thinking of him and therefore the seasons bore his absence in her life. Either way great piece.
Chris
100/100

[Shivam Murari]

Thanks a million Chris! :)

[kublakhan27]

A fascinating piece that can go any number of ways mood-wise: witty, bitter, and so on...has a song-like quality to it as well...nicely done.

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much! And yes! I had a music going in my brain when i wrote this. So effect is visible. :)

[kublakhan27]

You're most welcome :)

[Barkha Kumari]

Well expressed,strong emotions n the good figurative language...

[Shivam Murari]

Thanks a lot Barkha di :)

[Dhaye]

Wow! I like this one, sounds lyrical also. That's what I usually do, Shivam. When I have nothing to tell about myself for the moment, my muse or my concept is other people's experiences. I put my feet into their shoes and feel their emotions like mine.
Glad you made justice in doing it here. You're so good. Keep it up!

[Shivam Murari]

That's the sign of a real poet. One should not be selfish enough to express only his own but also invade others' emotional globe. Thanks a lot great poet :)

[Dhaye]

You're welcome. :)

[Rita L. Sev]

So easy to blame the weather, the ex, the moon cycles even - than it is to just accept reality. This is a metaphor, Shivam.

[Shivam Murari]

It indeed is Rita. Thank you :)

[Priyamvada Sinha]

Hey Shivam,....
Your "In Your Thoughts",is wonderful,......contains lots of fells and emotions.
Really pleased by your writing piece, i hope you may excell more in this sphere.

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much Priyamvada di :)

[Sami Khalil]

A powerful and close impersonation of the female emotions as well as the attitudes...I like how you uses seasonal elements to show the changes about them...
Wonderful...:)

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much, Sami :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[icelandicblue]

It's easier on the ego to blame the old flame while hoping he is still burning for what he left behind. Nicely done! Love the picture walk by the way.

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much Iceland :)

[MsJewel]

Relationships fail - life goes on - but when something goes wrong it's easier to blame it on the ex - who knows it may be his fault it rained... I'm sure I've blamed it on my ex.

:) Julie

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much Jewel :)

[Dayran]

Shivam ... how are you doing? This is a different take on your usual surely ... getting in touch with your feminine side then. I figure its okay for a first time effort ... but you realize that it also shows your male attitude regarding her?

Its a practice of abstract expression when we speak in the mind and words of someone else. The applications are quite enormous ... you may want to probe it further. Nice write.

[Shivam Murari]

I tried to tone down the male attitude as much as I could. But you know she has been doing this. For years she has been blaming her lover for silliest of all things. Once it got just too hilarious and I ended up writing this.
And I agree, I would probe it further. Thanks Daryan :)

BTW, I had impersonated once before too. It was in my first romantic poem - I Will Love You. But I had impersonated a male friend of mine, so I guess I was more accurate. Still learning :)