BONUS NUMBER #2 : In Your Thoughts

The stinging nature of heart to keep remembering about people it should not!

In Your Thoughts

 

It’s raining, raining

Oh Baby! It’s raining,

You made it rain, don’t you lie,

You knew I wanted to go out, so why?

 

It’s sunny, sunny

Oh Baby! It’s sunny

You made the sun’s heat scorching

You knew I wanted to do sightseeing.

 

It’s cold winter

Oh baby! It’s just too cold

You made the snow fall

Just when I had gardening call.

 

Yes you are responsible, doubtlessly

Your hate, your jealousy, needlessly

I hope you hate, hate

At least I could be in your thoughts!

Author's Note

I impersonate a relative of mine, who is not with her lover any more. She keeps suspecting him for everything imaginable in this world. The hidden reason being that she expects he is still thinking about her.

I hope I did justice to female emotions and way of expression.

Speak your heart out.

Reviews

[unsavable_soul]

Fantastic,
Simple in wording but grasps through a diverse repetition the many ways he was influencing her, whether it be real or imagined. It also left me to ponder if she were still thinking of him and therefore the seasons bore his absence in her life. Either way great piece.
Chris
100/100

[Shivam Murari]

Thanks a million Chris! :)

[smilempsn]

First paragraph was like Rihana's Ellaaa Ellaaa..Umberallaa :D

I liked the 'In your thoughts' Thought Shivam :)
Keep writing buddy ..

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I like your rhyming scheme, reminds me of the late Lou Reed's lyrics.

[Shivam Murari]

thank you Sheema :)

[Pam]

I really liked it! I'm actually kind of speechless, so it's REALLY hard to do a review right now. Keep being inspired!

[Shivam Murari]

Thanks Pam :)

[TL Boehm]

This would make a wonderful song.

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much Boehm :)

[Cassie]

This one sounded more like a song, I enjoyed it. Good one

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

For some reasons, I remember Rihanna's song "Umbrella" in your first two lines.

"At least I could be in your thoughts" echoes my own wishes to a particular someone. Thanks for this. :)

[Shivam Murari]

That is because the chorus of "Umbrella" was an inspiring factor for this poem! Funny that you're the first person to point it out!
I'm glad you could relate to it! Thanks a million for reading and commenting :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Haha, my pleasure! :)

[Rajat Chandra]

The poem no doubt is nice...
But I'm more interested in the pic added in the bottom :S
Where did you get? And it is painted by whom?

[Shivam Murari]

Random searches on Google images :P

[Barbara Walker]

Well, if your saying women blame their significant others for everything from rain to snow falling, I can't agree with you. Some women, maybe, but not all!

[Shivam Murari]

I am not talking about all. I did mention that I was talking about only one particular woman I know, who has been sticking to a person who left her years ago. Thank you for reading :)

[Shivam Murari]

PS- I know women are better at forgiving and moving on than men are!

[Barbara Walker]

You're right, I read that but my last thought before I reviewed was when you wrote "female emotions and way of expression" so I had to come to women's defense! LOL

[Shivam Murari]

ow . thats fine :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Reads like a weather Deity screwing with the locals. Good Poem

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you Ric :)