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This poem attempts to taunt the people who impose forced discipline and on those who believe in hollow fame and fake brotherhood!

Facebook Likes

 

 

Sun revolves around the Earth,

Isn’t that a curious phenomenon?

There are rules and laws since I’ve taken birth

You have to follow, you can’t run.

 

Within my mother’s womb, as a foetus

I floated from one wall to another.

Now the entwining rules eat us

The prodigious list only grows longer.

 

For the brotherhood is neither meringue

Nor the notes of a mezzo

Where has the love gone, I rue,

Locate it, I’ll find the boat to row.

 

There can be no discipline, no love,

Until the conscience strikes

It would neither come from twitter followers,

Nor from facebook likes!

 

Author's Note

This poem co-relates the forced discipline, which loosens as soon as the forcing agent goes absent, and the absence of true love, which is also in forced form! I think both the love and discipline are co-related in this manner that they have to imbibe in us and not just adsorb!

Reviews

[Saumya]

This was a completely different poem from what i had read before..:)
i was firstly excited to see the topic, and reading it proved it to be a really wonderful opportunity...
like the distinctive subject, the poem also is great...:) i completely agree with all your thoughts displayed here...
the beginning was great, i completely enjoyed reading the entire piece:)
well done:)

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much Saumya :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Interesting concept for a poem. Good one

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you Ric :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

This is a nice view of how your mind works... this is a very interesting piece. Good write.

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much! :)

[Divyanshu Kachhap]

went above my head ... !!!! I guess i can't relate it wid the name of the poem

3/5

[Shivam Murari]

ok. thanks for reading. :)

[Kitbit]

Could it get any more relating? Only 2 minutes ago I was on facebook and a friend asked me to like their photo. Guess what? I liked it!

[Shivam Murari]

LOL. See the fakeness :P

[Dayran]

You're quite right in supposing that real friendships are not formed on the internet ... however you must grant the fact that it is a ' new form of friendship ' emerging in the world that relies on forming impressions and committing to that extent to the relation. I don't think a person ought to write it off as being useless.

What you refer to as forced discipline is obviously peer pressure which should be handled by you ... not transfer the anger to new emerging trends in the world. An attempt at understanding changes.

[Shivam Murari]

Thanks a lot for reading, reflecting and commenting sir!
I personally think, friendship is friendship. It has no kind. Only of course we may grade it into mere acquaintance, friends or best friend, rising in ascending level. It doesn't matter as to where the friendship is formed. For, before social network, the pen friend trend was quite common!The problem on facebook is that people believe in 'likes'. They think that just because their photo has 100 likes and someone else's has lesser, they have become famous and have more friends. The question is how many of them are going top help them (to their level best) when the time comes?
As I say,
"For the brotherhood is neither meringue
Nor the notes of a mezzo"
I wish to clarify that friedship is not a crispy eating dish and nor a mezzo enjoyed once in a while. It is eternal.

Coming to the discipline, I speak,
"Within my mother’s womb, as a foetus
I floated from one wall to another.
Now the entwining rules eat us
The prodigious list only grows longer."
Peer pressure is definitely one part of it, but not all. We face some out-of-now-meaning rules at schools, in a land, in a religion, and we are forced to follow them. Men are breat earners, women are the cook. This is followed to its exact at many places. And why, I ask?

At schools, children are forced to behave the way they aren't and as soon as the authority is absent, a completely different face of students is seen. Why? Because the students are forced to be disciplined, they were not taught why they are acting in that manner and why that manner is appropriate.

So I conclude,
"There can be no discipline, no love,
Until the conscience strikes
It would neither come from twitter followers,
Nor from facebook likes!"

[Dayran]

I figure it has not escaped your attention that you yourself are subscribing to a friendship on the internet here in WC.

[Shivam Murari]

Definitely no. But I'm not laying over my heart on untrustworthy people and crying over my heartbreaks (which is in 99.9% of cases). I'm also not thinking that because my poems receive an average of 50 reviews means I'm more famous and likes poet than other fine writers who receive lesser reviews :)

[Dayran]

You're a nut ...

[Shivam Murari]

:o that was not a very pleasant thing to say :(

[Leslie Philibert]

Like this; I understand it to be both a kick at facebook and a pladoyer for true emotions !

[Shivam Murari]

Indeed it is, sir! Thank you for the kind review :)

[smilempsn]

hmm.. Next Generation whats everyone should LIKE them.. FOLLOW them..
Instead they forget, its GOOD things that should be Liked and Followed..

A write that keep readers a food of thought.. Nice one Shivam :)

[Shivam Murari]

Thanks a lot Smiles! Well thought sentences :)

[smilempsn]

:) :)

[Shivam Murari]

: )

[Quirkyac]

This is one of your most honest writes! It comes across brilliantly and also says the message loudly! Very effective write

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much for the encouraging words :)

[gabrielle]

It's very brilliant for you to mention the geocentric theory on the first line, which was the generally accepted truth for quite sometime mainly because of the support of the church. it's like the society today, the social media has this great influence on the perceptions of the people and regrettably, some would rely on social networking to validate their importance/beliefs. truly worth pondering write.

[Shivam Murari]

Wow! You're the first person who caught the reason to mention that line there. Thank you so much for reading and expressing. :)

[lones]

The title catches my attention. Then the thumbnail. Then the photos. As I begin to read, the first line is so amusing. And it goes on to get better and more 'entwining'. A well thought modern write. A lot of message for the seekers.

[Shivam Murari]

Indeed! Thank you so much, lones :)