BONUS NUMBER #1 : THIS IS NOT HAPPENING

This is my first attempt at loud writing.

This is not happening

 

No, no, nooo no!

 

My head is all beating

 

Na, na, naaa na!

 

My heart is not heating.

 

UH OH!

 

This is not happening,

My head is all beating,

My heart is not eating

THE LOVE YOU GAVE.

 

This is not happening

You words are still nagging

Your ear rings still dangling

IN MY HEAD WAVE.

 

Trying to forget, is like trying to forgive you

For mistakes that I committed

This is not happening

Innocent is not punishing

The criminal’s ideas are heated.

 

No, no no nooo

Na na na naaaa

 

‘I won’t tolerate your drama’

This is what I will say to me

I have never taken the blame

But this time I will take it on me

 

No

No

NO

 

What a confusion!

 

No

No

NOOOO!

 

This is my DISCRETION!

For myself!

 

Do you have any problem with it??

Then SHUT UP!

Author's Note

Reviews

[Rogue]

Me first?
-sigh-
I am not fond of the color block. It is a parlor trick and one you don't need, Shivam. Your words can stand on their own.
I do feel and understand the thoughts you are expressing. You get those across very clearly. And I like the piece wording as well (there are a few tenses that need correcting).

It is a good piece overall. :)

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you. And yes, now that you say, I see the tense errors too. But then correcting them might decrease the infuriate of the poem. :P

[Rogue]

Wait... What's that? Don't invite Rogue to read if you don't want the truth?
Harsh, man. Harsh.
-grin-
:P

[Shivam Murari]

Oh no no! I didn't mean it that way. I did of course recognize the tense errors when you pointed them out. Its just that I thought I might let the tension in the poem continue. I hope you understand what I mean.

[Rogue]

I did, Shivam and I was teasing you as you poked your tongue out at me. :P

[Shivam Murari]

oh! I got it :P

[Baby Ricochet]

WOW!!! THAT WAS LOUD!!!! WHT?!?! I CAN"T HEAR YA!!

[Shivam Murari]

Hahaha! Thanks for reading Ric! :)

[Rita L. Sev]

I see what you mean by a "loud" poem, and I get your intention with this piece. I found the colors to be distracting, though. I think if you want to convey the "loud", you could use capitals or a single exclamation point to do this. You made a good effort, and your emotions come through.

[Shivam Murari]

Well this is just a one-time try Rita! :P Not doing it again. It just happened out my not-going-to-think brain, as it was last night :P I am having a stressful exam today. but I felt better after writing this! :P

[Rita L. Sev]

Then it is a successful write,if it helps you to get out something, and makes you feel better. I hope your exam went well!

[Shivam Murari]

Yes, it went well :) Thanks :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

I felt the conflict of this piece... it was a bit chaotic, but it fits the piece well.

[Shivam Murari]

Thanks Heroics.. :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Oh Shivam I am afraid I agree with Rogue.

[Shivam Murari]

Oh never mind! It is just something I typed in because I was having too much stress on my head last night. :P

[Shivam Murari]

To be very honest, I didn't even see what I was typing. I didn't go through it once unless Rogue pointed out

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ok that is fair enough.

[smilempsn]

Oopsiee.. A hard one..
Firstly, it felt like a song.. with..'no no no.. and naah naah naah'
But then, writers feeling can be felt when 3rd para
'This is not happening
You words are still nagging
Your ear rings still dangling
IN MY HEAD WAVE.'

came...

It was too hard at the end :-/
'Do you have any problem with it??

Then SHUT UP!'

Eeeckk.. Better I should shut up..!! :P

[Shivam Murari]

LOL SMile. Well, yes, I was having a tune in my head when I was typing this.

[smilempsn]

:D attach the tune as well Shivam ;)

[Shivam Murari]

Couldn't do it. I will have to record it and upload it on youtube :(
And i dunno how to play electric guitar. I don't even have one!

[smilempsn]

..hehe.. ohkies :)
Learn one soon then.. !! Waiting..!! :P

[Shivam Murari]

:P :) :) :)

[smilempsn]

:) :)

[Dakshta]

That was.. colourful.. umm a bit too colourful for my taste actually.. but apart from that it was a nice piece :)

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much Dakshta :)

[carol burgess romance]

loud VERY LOUD..indeed this is different not a style I would use but I can seee how it screams in emotion

[Shivam Murari]

Thanks a lot Carol :)

[Sami Khalil]

It is loud indeed and the colors too...You have done it....:)

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much Sami! :)

[Sami Khalil]

MY pleasure...:)

[Frieda P]

Frenzied and potent...exactly where our head goes under the circumstances as such.

[Shivam Murari]

Thanks Frieds for reading and reflecting :)