The heart and mind speaking at the same time, different languages perhaps, the heart wants to deny what the mind sees...knows. That said, this is written so amazing, i love the eloquent honesty, use of rhyme and meter...i love the fact this just goes right through your heart and grabs you, very relateable...great job!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much for that awesome review. I'm glad you could relate. :)
11 Years Ago
like most, a little too much :) - you're very welcome
The music began playing before I could begin reading. The photos actually took time to load. And then I began reading and I was astonished to see how the words fell in the appropriate meter in accordance with the song. And then the music made it even more emotional. Really a compelling read.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Haha! I dunno, maybe that's why I chose this music :) Thank you for the awesome review :)
This is so painful that by the fifth stanza, anyone would be compelled to cry. But the emotions re-stabilize due to the energy in the last stanza. So good!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks a ton Quirky. Your words are always admirable :)
My my my... Sweet and heart broken words "I'm changing my password"
This happens when you have something done very well and carve it on stone and create a masterpiece
out of it.
You shape it pretty well mate and then you create one nicely wrapped poem on stone.
I'm not critics but still love to read your poem more ofttimes, It Cheers me up.
Stood up strong and made me feel better every single line I read.
Read it 3 times and still felt did i miss something all over again.
I'm impressed.. you are under 18 and you write great things (poems) and make me feel better everytime.
I read your poems when i'm really in need of something good and i find them in your art :)
Simply amazing :)
With Lots of Love and Encouragement!!
Cheers!!
Smiles!!
Singh :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
That was SO NICE of you brother. Your words are always, unexceptionally, exceptionally encouraging! .. read moreThat was SO NICE of you brother. Your words are always, unexceptionally, exceptionally encouraging! Thank you so much! :)
Oh! That's youtube, though. And you are nightworker! Woah! That's tough. Listen to the music when yo.. read moreOh! That's youtube, though. And you are nightworker! Woah! That's tough. Listen to the music when you are home. :)
So passionate, so real, like growing just now feeling of heart...and sadness. "I will love you' could be honest reply, it`s not always up to woman, to your beloved to say all , what she has inside..Sometimes she could be confused, sometimes she can`t understand her feelings well, just it will be hard for you to accept that...i liked the style and structure of your poem, and great romantic photos..Finally you `ll accept the answer "no"? or maybe she didn`t want to hurt you, she will love you though...
-nour-
29.05.013
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I love everything that you said Sugar. But despite that, I think the two (both boy and girl) should .. read moreI love everything that you said Sugar. But despite that, I think the two (both boy and girl) should be mature enough to take a better approach. Neither should the guy come in rage or cut all the contacts after hearing "no", nor should the girl be afraid to say "no" is she knows she doesn't love. Because hanging the relationships only means hurting more at a later point of time.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing :)
Picture and video said it all my friend!!
I love the song...song is so true!!
I really like this poem...so emotional and about truth these days :(
People don't love still they always say..
They fool you all the time ..
Emotional one!!
Keep writing!!
Your words reflect your intent very well. I like the structure of the poem. You have some good rhymes, although boo and you feels a bit forced. The following is my favorite stanza, though I changed the word order in one line for grammatical correctness.
I Will Love You
Yes, maybe you will,
but you will have lost the boy, who grew
to love, to fulfill your dreams
and make a life partner, too.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing this piece. :)
P.S. Life is too short to waste on people who don't appreciate who you are! Just sayin'
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks for reading and suggesting the correction. I would rectify it right away. :-)
and if you wait and if she returns....it will only happen again
a man in waiting is not a life
you have penned this well
now let's twist this- a lovely girl will love a man in waiting I just hope he sees her he maybe blinded by the wait-
thank you for sharing
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thats a lovely expression, Holly. Thank you for reading and reviewing :-)
Shivam Murari is a student, currently aspiring to get into a good college. He loves to write poems, loads of them. He usually gets very random ideas, which he thinks are pretty cool, and in the proces.. more..