I Will Love You

If you don't love someone, it better to say a clear no than keeping them hanging for longer, for the longer you hang, the harder it gets to move on.

I Will Love You

 

“I will love you.”

Long gone are the nights

When I used to get this reply from you

Constant interrogation of rights

Why can’t we be together and yet true?

 

“I Will Love You”

You gave this bare reply

Is all I deserve a not-so-clear boo?

After all these nights of bitter cry

That I did for you.

 

“I Will Love You”

That other guy you date

Sorry I came between you two

He’s a drug addict, yet great!

Still I am a true lover too.

 

“I Will Love You”

I ask you, why don’t you say

A straight and clear no, please do

I want to move on and sway

But you keep me hanging with ado.

 

“I Will Love You”

Yes maybe you will

But you will have lost the boy, who grew

To love, to make your dreams fulfill

And make you life partner too!

 

Stop It!

I don’t want to hear that anymore.

I’m changing my password

Wouldn’t call you and bore

And save my two-and-a-half hours, you heard?

Thank you!

 

Author's Note

Speak how you feel.

Reviews

[ms. barrie]

The heart and mind speaking at the same time, different languages perhaps, the heart wants to deny what the mind sees...knows. That said, this is written so amazing, i love the eloquent honesty, use of rhyme and meter...i love the fact this just goes right through your heart and grabs you, very relateable...great job!

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much for that awesome review. I'm glad you could relate. :)

[ms. barrie]

like most, a little too much :) - you're very welcome

[J. A. Lucero]

This definitely connects with emotions that I have felt. You just feel the swaying back and forth between the hope and the discontentment. Great job :)

[Shivam Murari]

Thanks a lot Lucero :)

[J. A. Lucero]

My pleasure :)

[Rajat Chandra]

No words... She's such a DUFFERNI! ^_^

[Shivam Murari]

She genuinely is! Thanks for commenting. :)

[Rajat Chandra]

Hahahaaa yeah ;)
It's my pleasure :)

[sakshi arora]

this is a genuine collection of feelings and thats the u sp

[Shivam Murari]

Thanks thanks so much Sakshi!! :)

[Sami Khalil]

I had to visit this all over for some reason that I like ...:)

[Shivam Murari]

I am so overwhelmed, kind sir! You are so good! :) ^_^

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome finer sir...:)

[Shivam Murari]

..........:)

[Sami Khalil]

^^~^^ :)..............

[Aethereal]

This poem express a common plight: It inspired me to write the following tiny poem which you may keep as a gift:

Some Day

I'll love you some day
when my world grows cold,
and no man will stay
cause I'm gray and old.
So don't walk away.
Just wait, and don't scold.
For now let me play
every man I hold.

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you so much! That's indeed a very nice gift to have. Thank you!

[Riley Bray]

Most people that have been in a relationship have had to handle this, exactly this. Its been a while since I've seen a poem about lovers that wasn't entirely cliche, so very good job there! There were a few things I wanted to inquire about though, so here:

Is all I deserve a not-so-clear boo?---------------I think the boo part kind of weakens the message, so maybe you want to look for a different word?

“I Will Love You”
That other guy you date
Sorry I came between you two
He’s a drug addict, yet great!
Still I am a true lover too.------------------------------I don't quite understand this stanza. It was about you and her then all of a sudden this "great" drug addict pops up. A bit strange, huh? I think you should try to make this more relative, or else change or get rid of it. I don't exactly understand where it came from but I can appreciate it.

A straight and clear no, please do
I want to move on and sway
But you keep me hanging with ado.----------------I think you worded the second first and second line a little oddly, and I don't know if its spelled differently where you're from, (it very well may be), but where I'm from "ado" is spelled "adieu." (I just wanted to double check with that one haha).

“I Will Love You”
Yes maybe you will
But you will have lost the boy, who grew
To love, to make your dreams fulfill
And make you life partner too!--------------------I don't exactly understand how this goes with the rest of the poem, or exactly what it means. Maybe I'm overthinking it or just not thinking abstractly enough.

Stop It!
I don’t want to hear that anymore.
I’m changing my password
Wouldn't call you and bore
And save my two-and-a-half hours, you heard?
Thank you!---------------------------------------------------------------------I feel like this is a reference to your personal life, but the people here on writerscafe don't know your inside jokes and references, so I think you should make it so that we can at least interpret this stanza with a chance of getting it right.

Anyway, this was a really great poem Shivam and I'm looking forward to reading more. :)

[Shivam Murari]

Okay a little detailed report. :)

Thanks for the review. :)

Actually, I get the boo thing, but it's just to make it rhyme and go a little slow, after all its love.

The second stanza, where the drug addict comes in, is to show the reason why she is not with the guy. She is already dating somebody. So it is, but natural, the not-yet-rejected one will compare himself with the other and try to prove himself better.

ado is just said like "adoo" here. Accent dependent perhaps :)

Then comes the fifth stanza. Well, I guess you missed to notice the fluctuation in idea with stanza. Every stanza gives a different idea. The first is general. The second talks about the cries. The third about unhealthy comparison with the boy she is dating. The fifth is about the future plans the guy had made. So that is the way it is. Actualy this fluctuation represents the bipolarity of the person, representing whom, I have written this (yes, this is not my story! But my ex-best friend's story, who would call me up every single night to tell how he wasted another 2.5 hrs on the girl who would never love back. Poor chap! I would listen to him for 1 hr. Only later did he turn out to be a betrayer too. Betrayed me! Might write a poem about it later :P)

Yes, that last stanza. I wanted to make it as clear as possible and at the same time, leave a lot to the reader's imagination too. I love doing that. I think, a poet should never say everything clearly. It feels like mixing the message in water and putting it into the stomach of the reader. The reader should first smell it, taste it and thus, imagine it! :-)

Thanks again! And yes, there are a few more I have written. My next poem is coming soon too! :)

[Riley Bray]

That all makes a bunch of sense and I totally understand and respect your choices as a writer, especially since this poem is fine without me poking at it. Its always nice to see people able to justify or at least explain why they did the things they did, so that its proven that it was done to your taste and written so that you understood it, at very least. Crystal clear! Again, looking forward to more. :)

[Shivam Murari]

Haha! And it feels even better when readers express themselves, like you did! Thanks again! :)

[icelandicblue]

The strings of the heart can be played and pulled. If there is no hope should they not be cut? It makes me think of this quote by Shakespeare in Twelfth Night about a character who is frustrated that his feelings of love are not returned:

Duke Orsino:
If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.

I really like your poem.

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you iceland. I appreciate your coming around, reading and liking my poem. :)

[Motivation4Life]

A very deep poem I must say and truth is in it, well done!

[Shivam Murari]

Thank you :)

[Dakshta]

okaaaay well to be frank I wouldn't actually consider it as a poem.. but yes you really wrote it well :)

[Shivam Murari]

thanks for the review Dakshta :)