"Schizophrenic"

~Schizophrenic~

 

Tethered dreams,

And silent screams,

I cling to my misgivings.

A single thread,

Yet binds me,

To reality.

 

Voices beckon,

From dark crags,

I flee from myself,

Yet I leave

My soul

Behind.

 

Shades of gray,

Muddled memories,

Tap at my head.

Ratt, tatt, tatt,

Like raindrops

On a metal roof.

 

Harrowing delusions,

Play before me,

Ebbing and flowing,

Through my diseased,

Psychotic,

Brain.

 

I am King

And Queen

Of my own majesty.

You do not exist,

Except for that

I allow.

 

But is it I,

Who misinterprets,

My actuality?

Or is it you,

In your portentous

Scheme of things.

 

Just leave me be,

To my uttered existence,

And my short lived,

Convelescence.

So I may once more,

Retreat into my world….

 

SJ Roebling/Copyright/2007

 

Author's Note

This poem is not to be copied or any part of it used in any context or form without the written permission of author, SJ Petrandis.

Reviews

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

This is a tough topic to undertake I believe although knowing someone who is afflicted with the disease I believe you capture it rather brilliantly - there still is the question lingering here as to whether the person afflicted or those around them are really the ones who are troubled. It seems to me you annunciate this in so few words. Thank you. Quite an undertaking.
Light,
Siddartha

[shoaib]

deep poem, def not an easy condition to have or live with
sometimes we just feel a little bit of that way in our reg lives
anyway awesome poem and work
great job and keep writing you are so talented

[Legion]

Did you write that for me? :) Exceptional. I know exactly what you mean with this. Brilliant. You have so got to read "Legion's Legacy: Tales of the Damned" sometime. Kudos to you.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear SJ,

A wonderful job. Highly introspective with enlightening insights. I particularly like

But is it I,
Who misinterprets,
My actuality?
Or is it you,
In your portentous
Scheme of things.

Exactly! Our "portentous / Scheme of things"! For who is really aligned with "reality"? There is no one interpretation that is beyond all question. There are facts that people can agree on, but then there is meaning, and meaning is deeply personal.

The closing stanza is also extremely strong and a fitting ending to the poem. It is our own world, ultimately, that each of us must live in whatever that world might be.

Excellent job. High marks!

Best regards,

Rick

[Pax Analog]

What this well-wrought verse about a thorny subject made me think of was R.D. Laing's psychiatric empathy, and the statement: "Schizophrenics are drowning in the waters that yogis and artists swim in." Much of modern society is organized schizophrenia, what (new agey, but sometimes relevant) Chopra termed the "psychopathology of the norm," so there is a mirror irony going on. I think spiritual intelligence is a matter of affectively integrating paradox into a nondual consciousness. The answer to your poem's question at the end is perhaps, "both." One might posit a Laing-to-Buddha bridge out of darkness into Light, for both a significantly sick society, and a single troubled soul.

[Kitty Forzaken]

this is so beautiful and well written!

[CHRISTOPHER RECKIN]

Wow! Very thought provoking as well as being an excellent piece of poetry.
I wanted to select a favorite line or verse - but I just couldn`t make a choice!
For me - poems are a bit like paintings, the verses are the different brush strokes
of colour that form a picture of a subject or experience.

Keeping that analogy in mind - I would say this poem should be hanging
in a famous art gallery somewhere - for all the world to see, but in a
sense perhaps it is - thanks to the internet and sites like this one ...

nice one S J :-)

[KevinS]

Outstanding writing.

[Lyndsay Castro]

Wow. I think this is a wonderful example of something that is deep, personal, and still easy to follow. You manage to make us empathize, even if we've never had those feelings ourselves.
kudos!
Lyndsay

[bailish]

"Tethered dreams," Your first line caught my attention. Love it!

"I flee from myself,
Yet I leave
My soul
Behind."
Boy, I hate it when that happens :D
This brings to mind natives separate from the technological advances of the day, who believe that when their photo is taken, their soul is captured on the film. Nice allusion, but I don't think that's what you mean.

Our memories are grey -- nice imagery.

Ooh, I like your ending. The insane are happy to stay insane. It's the rest of us who think there's something wrong with it.

My aunt had Alzheimer's. She drove everyone around her batty, but she was happy.

[LadyLove]

You've taken a difficult conditon and given a glimpse of how that person sees the world. Kinda scary to think they may see us as not the normal ones. Hmm...makes one think. I like how the person knows his or her problem too but seems to protect his inner world somewhat as if we are the intruders. You did this very artfully! Great!