WILD THINGS #1

Wild 

savage 

night

my heart

knew you ragged

tore you

ate you

believed you

That 

brutal light

callous flame

melted me

burned me up

doubted

It knows

Author's Note

I am experimenting here...no tame venture.

Reviews

[JohnnyMagrinho]

This is interesting. Firstly I think the shape should be discussed. It adds an extra meaning to the actual poem itself, as it makes us read down rather quickly, as if you want us to consider what you are saying in a hurried way, rather than contemplating every word. This means the rhythm and pace are very important rather than the wording but saying that, the vocabularly and descriptions are very adept.

I get the impression there is a feeling of regret or shame even though there was definite want and mutual union, even if the obvious event is perhaps more difficult to understand than it would seem.

The brutal light, callous flame was an interesting way of describing that feeling and how it melted you and burned you up. The inclusion of doubted at the end of that stanza, isolated and blatant was interesting as it was a bit of a surprise, but it just adds to the depth of the poem, showing us another side to the regret, passion and confusion, making us aware there is something more going on here.

It knows. What a superb way to end. It's so subtle, and you've personified almost everything but left it mysterious, subtle and intriguing. I'm sure I don't understand 100% of what you are saying - and I would never be so arrogant to imply I did - but I get the gist of it and I am especially liking the inclusion of doubted as an isolated expression and ending it on it knows. As if to kill any wonder about whatever happened being a hidden, secret endeavour, as it is ultimately not hidden or secret, at least to a feeling of doubt, regret or even brutal warmth that could indeed become cold after 'melting you.'

[Lyn Anderson]

I am speechless. The relationship you know is wrong, but you are powerless against. So few words on a page that can say so much.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

So glad you liked this! I want to do some more...

[Lyn Anderson]

you should. it suits you.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Have you read Royla Asghar? Just found her on Tumblr. Wow.

[Lyn Anderson]

no, but I shall.

[Emily B]

passionate, white hot

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Thank you, Emily! Just seeing this. I have been gone awhile.

[Emily B]

Lovely that you are back :)

[FJ Davis]

Not exactly roses-are-red.
I really appreciate this piece--even though I'm not at all sure I know what you're saying.
Guess I just like the vicious way in which you said it.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

It's just one of those wild things! Thanks, Frank for taking time to read it.

[Marie]

Nor was this a tame poem..savage and lyrical...

[marytownsend]

What seemed so right in the heart of the night can be burned away in the light of day. The day seems to know the mistakes we make! I see excitement followed by regret. A simple poem with a lot of depth! Keep writing, this is great!