BACKDRAFT

To save you would consume my soul, and then, My Love, I too, would burn...

A demon fire 

Enflames your soul

My Love, you rage beyond control.

I reach for you, 

My hand is seared

A pain I cannot soothe with tears.

You call to me 

In chilling cries, 

With yearning sobs, and alibis.

To rescue you

Is doomed desire

My sacrifice would feed that fire.

Author's Note

Written long ago, penned in the moment...
I know that "seared" and "tears" don't properly rhyme,
But, I just can't seem to give up that line!

Let me know if it works...thanks!

Reviews

[James]

I think that seared and tears go perfectly with this. This sounds like an intense, but rocky relationship the kind that is dangerous for us. It's like we really want to, but know in the end we're going to get burned. We just can't help ourselves.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Truly an intense relationship... long ago. I learned a painful lesson about rescue. Thanks so much for reading this older post...

[Lyn Anderson]

oh who cares about a proper rhyme? This moved me. I have certainly been there.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Thanks again, my friend. This brings back memories that burn, but I am so glad I wrote it. As always, I appreciate your reading and reviews.

[Clayton Bardwell]

Gotta love all that heat. "seared" vs. "tears" sounds like an assonance to me. I'm told that an "assonance is a rhyme which is not a perfect rhyme, but sounds close enough to get by".

Works well for me.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Thank you so much, Clayton! :)

[Pax]

A demon fire
Enflames your soul
My Love, you rage beyond control.
~ yes, anger that burns with rage are hard to handle and it burns you too, too much than the flame that brought it…
I reach for you,
My hand is seared
A pain I cannot soothe with tears.
~ sometimes scars that are too deep are much longer to heal...
You call to me
In chilling cries,
With yearning sobs, and alibis.
~ it’s harder to heal when someone still at your doorstep never leaving and masked with all the lies of the world…the cries hunts the very soul…
To rescue you
Is doomed desire
My sacrifice would feed that fire.
~ this ending is really sad, you still jump on the fire just to be in love or be to this person you love

hoping i understand your poem well enough...
great work my friend...

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I love your thoughts on this, my friend! Thank you for taking time to read it and let me know you understood. :)

[Pax]

your welcome... i find this admirable.... :)

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

:)

[FJ Davis]

Romantic intensity most artistically portrayed; a lover, almost literally, too hot to handle--can't tell you how many times women have lodged similar complaints against me.
I say, let 'em melt!
A top-notch offering, blissful Claire!

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I am afraid much of my heart is most likely melted...but it still works okay! Thanks so much, Frank, always. :)

[Sami Khalil]

My love , you rage beyond control .
Out of this world.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Again, my thanks to you for your time and your kind words. I appreciate both.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome. Thoughts like that are what poetry is all about.

[Distant horizons]

I think the line works fine. always go with what your heart tells you. Superbly written.

[Renée]

Great Piece ! and it rhymes fine ! I can envision the flames, tears, desperation..

[...]

. stunning poetry ... it's the anatomy of what goes on between two people sometimes ... i've experienced this ... i don't write form poetry ... nor do i know much about it ... i just think this piece is powerful as it is ...

[Samuel Dickens]

No problem with that rhyme nor with any of them. You write of the volatility of romance as one who knows.