Chapter 2 - Pregnant

Pregnant. I kept thinking. Pregnant. Why? Just why? I keep pacing myself back and forth. Why?

Only one person to call of course: Laura.

I dial her number. If there is one thing I'll always remember, it's her phone number for sure. She answers quickly as if she's been expecting a call from me.

"Hey" she says rather cheerfully. "How's it going?"

"Okay," I reply, "Even better now that you answered." I smile ear to ear, and I imagine her doing the same.

"Are you um- a-are you still working in the streets?" she inquires very hesitantly.

My zeal begins to fluctuate and slowly die down. "That's actually why I called you." I take a breath and sigh. "Listen, I'm pregnant."

"Oh um, well, well how do you feel about this?" 

"It's terrible," I whine. "I barely have money for myself and now I have another soul to feed and entertain. It can't work" I don't cry however. After all this time, tears seem to be useless; human instincts which use up time and emotion only to leave you even more desperate and broken.

"Listen. You know I'm always here for you. And you know I always advise you and aid you with your troubles, right?"

"Right." I say.

"Well, use this as an opportunity. Don't take this the wrong way or anything but find a decent job; start taking care of yourself and the baby of course. You've lived your childhood in heartache so why don't you use this precious gift as an opportunity for a soul to deserve the freedom and safety from a supportive mother. In other words, provide him the life you never had as a child. You didn't deserve that pain and this beautiful baby might provide closure for all that trauma. And then just you wait. That kid will bloom into a beautiful person just like you. You'll see."

I grinned at the thought of it.

So I kept waiting.

...

5 months pregnant already. Where has the time gone? I've been saving every penny from my new job at the supermarket and have only spent some cash on food and a cellphone. Laura was right. Maybe. Just maybe. Life is getting better. I already know where I'm buying everything for my beautiful baby. I found a gorgeous cherry wood crib with the engraved letters "Mommy's Girl" with beautiful, gleaming roses painted at the side. And it it's a boy, the crib with "Mommy's Boy" and paintings of red and blue toy cars will do just as fine. For once, I feel satisfied with the direction my life has been going to lately. I feel relieved. For now.

...

Author's Note

The happiest that this story will ever get to.