I Heard A Laugh

I was sitting on the wooden railing of the deck, the sun shining on my face and I was happy. I was peaceful. There, at the place there were no troubles, no pain and no sadness. I looked out at the fields and up at the sky. The clouds were moving so fast, faster than usual. Someone played a guitar and girls were singing. I heard someone laugh and my heart snapped. My eyes went blank and my smile faded. It sounded like her. That laugh, that guitar, it sounded like her. She would love it here, I thought. She would love the peace. I wish she was here, I thought. The happy part of her, here with me. And then I missed her, and my soul ached. I missed her and I shouldn't have. Because I knew that it was wishful thinking that only the happy part would be there, I knew the sad part of her would be there too. The deranged part. The empty and soulless part. And I shouldn't have missed her. But I did anyway. I missed her.