Tears Of Black

Once there stood a man

A man of crimson sweat and tears of black 

Through an ethereal life span

No matter the turmoil

Through the torment and the hardship

He builds like a tightening coil

Like a python around its prey 

Anger is an effervescent emotion 

One of boiling blood 

That pours like a never ending flood

Evil never ends his torment

Only fuels it

He has battled through hell

Beaten Lilliths spell

Ensuing darkness corrodes 

As the mountains and hills erode

Into the valley he will walk

To face his inner-demons 

With a blade of brandished sorrow 

And a shield of tattered souls

Reviews

[Harrison Oliver]

I was blown away. Awesome! I love your imagery.

[Donald Olds]

The mental image I got with this poem was outstanding. Great job! The first and third Stanza's really stood out to me, I love the phrasing you have here. As the darkness aproaches us we embrace it with open arms just waiting.... waiting for the time. Some fear, some love, some embrace, others don't notice. as we walk amongst the masses we show no fear, but love and sorrow as we notice those who go un-noticed or otherwise unknown.

[Alvin L. Kathembe]

"A man of crimson sweat and tears of black"...
Whoa. That line just struck me like a slap across my face...what a phrase!
It calls to my mind bitterness - 'tears of black' - and thankless, soulless toil - 'crimson sweat' - where he pours his heart out- literally - sweating blood, crimson sweat, but to no avail...
wonderfully emotive, this poem struck a chord in my heart. great work!

[freelancejouster]

the imagery is dark but interesting. nice work.

[Aidz]

Mm nice pleasant write tinted in dark... Very kewl actually enjoyed it very muchly :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful poem. I like the journey of the man and his desire to not lose. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[fallen.angel.]

Wow, I got a really strong image in my mind while reading this.
I like it ^^
Fantabulous~~*

[Lily Mae]

Wow.. this I like.. the picture it painted in my mind was intense.. I could see you walking off with shield in hand...xo well done..x