A reply to a love torn memory

I see the words on the screen

A plea to me?

A plea to the one who tried?

A plea to the one that was there?

I miss the days of our happiness

But I need to think of me 

And you really aren't good for me

I miss you?

Yes

I care for you?

Yes

But you wanna know something?

I'm sick of trying 

Trying to make you smile when all around is darkness 

I was there with a candle when the shadows loomed 

But you put out my candle of hope

With your venomous spittle

And then you go against my words

So I wait for the catastrophe 

And the tears

And all I will say is "I told you so"

Reviews

[freelancejouster]

there's something awfully indecisive and angry at the same time about this, which is quite refreshing. lovely in that sort of awful way that most of your poetry tends to lean.

[Donald Olds]

This one hit real close to home for me... I loved the lines "I'm sick of trying- trying to make you smile when all around is darkness- I was there with a candle when the shadows loomed" I can unfortunatly say that I've been on both sides of this situation but as far as the poem goes I love the words and the overall tone of it. great job!!!

[Zoe Jay]

Short and to the point. The use of questions and repetition are effective and this is a classic poetic device well used here. The poem is simply expressed without grandeur. Short words, short syllables, give the poem a feeling of finality, it's a very definite poem. The poem also shades from semi-sympathetic and contemplative, melancholy, at the start, and by the end, is quite curt and almost bitter. A good progression. Nice writing.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A spirited and triumph of the gladed word.

[Calypso]

Great poem.
I can feel a sense of power and control.

[Jessica Marlow]

awww i feel so much sorrow when i read this but it is so tru all the time and we cant even help it half the time. sometimes the best thing we can do is let go of the one we love cause we know that the are hurting us no matter how much pain we are in sometimes it is the best thing we can do....

[FaithfullyJennyBear]

I told you so.. Strongest yet most painful words anyone could wish to hear from the person they adore..

[ivizarx]

wonderful work with real emotions behind it... loved it and thnx for the RR

[Helpless]

i understand this one....
been through it many times.
its tough, i'm sorry you have to go through so much.
i know you though, your strong. :) so i know you can make it.
an awesome poem full of honest emotions, thats they key to good poetry for sure.

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime we need to listen to our mind. Run from trouble. I like how you told the tale. The ending is true. Sometime good to create some distance from people who take and run. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote