I love music, and writings about music, and you have captured the kind of smooth rhythm and defiance of funk music in this. Your poem echoed the style of the music genre it described. I love the sound imagery, the "pounding" and "rattling", and especially the reference to "these halls" which is a phrase more asscociated with funk genres of music than any other. A haapier poem from you, but still fiery and defiant, and altogether untamed. It's what I love about your writing. Keep it up and keep sending the RRs.
This poem made me think of a concert I went to, although it was a rock concert rather than funk. There were people screaming and singing... Unfortunately there were a few annoying teens who thought it'd be cool to start this mosh pit crap, but whatever. It was one of the best concerts I've been to!
Now, about the poem. It was great! A good little description of this form of music you seem to be so fond of. :3
A short but sweet capturing of mood and feel. Short and to the point, good use of atmosphere and description, but I think you could definitely build on this and develop it as I feel it's just a little too brief, just as I started to feel the mood, it ended! I like how your short and punchy sounds, short syllable words, short lines, reflect punchy funk bass lines.
Kirkcaldy, Sherbs house on Sherbs street :D, United Kingdom
About
I am Sherb of Sherbs Dreaming tree,
Come inside and see,
My marvellous range of tea.
Haha
Im Sherb I love poetry, it was my life for wuite a while and i have been suffering an 18 month block .. more..