I liked the progression from third person to first person. The way you did it made it so that I didn't realize until the last line that it was "the hills" speaking. The characterization of something so large and almost mystical made the poem that much more foreboding and almost scary. An interesting idea, like big brother watching, only big brother is nature, rather than people. Really plays on some people's fears of nature (just look at the lengths we go to to get away from our wild roots), as well as the human fear of an apocolypse. It was almost religious, yet no god was mentioned. The hills kind of filled that position, placing a kind of brooding, displeased god all around us.
Your diction really worked too. Instead of action words, you used "creeping" and "fading" and "incomplete", which made it more creepy. Brought to mind the last lines of TS Eliot's "The Hollow Men": "This is the way the world ends/Not with a bang but a whimper".
A very good poem. I like those movies with the hill people hiding and waiting. I was station in the desert many times. Life is different in the desert. The danger and beauty are for the wise to feel and see. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote
Kirkcaldy, Sherbs house on Sherbs street :D, United Kingdom
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Im Sherb I love poetry, it was my life for wuite a while and i have been suffering an 18 month block .. more..